Reasonable custody Transition time for a two year old? Your thoughts?!

[scottsmanslassie]

Hello!
I was wondering what is a reasonable transition time for a two year old who is coming to live with her father and step-mother who will be adopting? His daughter has a great bond with him and I, and she is comfortable in our home, thought she has never been allowed to stay over night at our home. We have petitioned to terminate the guardianship because we have been ready to take custody of my husband's daughter, and the guardian's are completely uncooperative. We have an approved home study, have been providing a scheduling of regular weekly visits a month a head of a time for at least 6 months now, have been providing all transportation for all visits ( my husband's daughter lives in a town that is 50 min. away from where we live), have been paying all child suport, and providing his share of her health insurance. We had submitted a six month transition plan for his daughter in December, which the guardians rudly denyed through their lawyer. In the plan that we submitted through our lawyer we said that we were open to suggestions, or possibly a plan that they would be ok with, but they wanted noting to do with it, and suggested nothing. So we have petittioned to have the guardianship terminated. They submitted to us a YEAR LONG transition plan for his daughter with stipulations such as if he were to be called to go over seas, that they will have custody of his daughter, etc.!! This is rediculas. If we cannont work anything out with them we will be going to court. They DO NOT want to go to court. They have implied that they know that they may lose. I know I've written a lot hear, but what do you think would be a good transition plan if we even submit one to them? They think that a year or longer would benifit her the best, but moving TO SLOWLY is also harmful to a 2 year old.
Any comments would be great, Thanx, SJ

[ocean]

Who has custody now? Did you win custody and are awaiting a plan? Does the child have a law guardian? One year is way too long in my opinion. Why can't you get custody with them getting visits for a while??? Why can't you get overnights now? It "sounds" like you are in the middle of this but reality is that this could take a year if they drag there feet. I would get your lawyer to give them a date to respond or else you will file with the courts. Good luck!

[scottsmanslassie]

No one has custody of my husband's daughter.  No one has ever had custody of her.  Her mother's adoptive parents have guardianship over her.  The reason that we are getting screwed with visits is because the grandparents get to make all the rules.  We now have a kick butt lawyer, but before we had a court appointed lawyer who was really crappy.  When we went to court and the guardianship was established, we had no lawyer.  Our lawer for jv. court wouldn't call us back to represent us, and we couldn't find any lawyers in the short amount of time.  So there were no stippulations put on the guardians, so they decide on the rediculas visitation schedual.  When DHS was involved, we could see her anytime we want.  Now they only let us see her twice a week; one 3 hour visit, and one 4 to 5 hour visit, depending on them.  Keep in mind that we live 50 min. away.  We have asked many times to have over nights, more time, etc.  They usually respond (in email thankfully!!!) that if we don't like it to take them to court. We believe that we are towards the end of this now, granted that this could take months.  There is a good chance that we will be able to settle out of court.  We've been told by DHS workers that were involved that they do not think that they would pass a home study, let a lone a psy. evaluation....and they aren't even foster registered.  
Thanx for your reply.