cant find x husband help!!!

[bella]

i have taken my x back to court to be able to see my 2 boys,,it has been 6years since I have seen them.We have a court date for july 15..I have done parenting classes,hair folicol test,cd eval,and i see a addiction counsler,,I have been clean for 5 years,,,I have learned that he has taken the kids out of school to home school them,,he also got evicted from his house and has moved and I dont no were,,his lawyer has with drawn from the case cause he will not corroperate,,my question is what can I do?

[ocean]

Was he served the papers for the July 15th court date?
Call the school district and ask if he homeschools, does he have to hand things in (work, tests, lesson plans). Every state is different.

Does ex work? Get a private detective to find him...if he is in the area, they will find him.
How old are the kids? Do they have facebook, my space, emails?

If he knows about the court date, then the case will move on...Do you have a lawyer? They may be able to ask for a restraining order so that kids must attend school...

[bella]

Was he served the papers for the July 15th court date?
Call the school district and ask if he homeschools, does he have to hand things in (work, tests, lesson plans). Every state is different.

Does ex work? Get a private detective to find him...if he is in the area, they will find him.
How old are the kids? Do they have facebook, my space, emails?

If he knows about the court date, then the case will move on...Do you have a lawyer? They may be able to ask for a restraining order so that kids must attend school...

Yes he does homeschool and was regestered were he was living,,,,I called them they haveno information that he even moved,,,,,No he doesnt work and hasnt for about 3 years,,he was collecting unemployment,but that has ran out,,I am paying child support,but they also have no idea that he moved,,it is collected on a card so no way to trace it,,,my boys are 10 and 8 and no they dont have facebook or anything,,yes i have a lawyer,,,he has said that it is a messy case and really he has no idea what the judge will say,,my x also had a lawyer but hehas dumped him,,since he doesnt no were he is at,,,yes he knows about the court date,,we had a date set for march 25 but it got postponed in hopes that we could do the mediation that was court ordered,,,,,I have thought of hiring a private investagator,,,but money is tight and if I can find him on my own with a little help,I will try that first,,I am just at a loss of what to do now.........

[MixedBag]

not sure what to say either about finding him.  USUALLY school is a good way.

Do you have JOINT custody?

I wonder if your attorney can file a motion to make dad keep the kids in normal schools vs. homeschooling?

Also wonder if he has any ideas on how to find him -- sometimes they have access to data bases that we don't, frustrating, but true.

What about the post office?

Did he by chance have his mail forwarded?

I forgot what it is that you put under the return address (banks do it), so that when an address gets changed, the information comes back to you instead of the mail getting forwarded.

Utility companies come to mind too -- maybe you can use them?  Sending you a message....

[bella]

not sure what to say either about finding him.  USUALLY school is a good way.

Do you have JOINT custody?

I wonder if your attorney can file a motion to make dad keep the kids in normal schools vs. homeschooling?

Also wonder if he has any ideas on how to find him -- sometimes they have access to data bases that we don't, frustrating, but true.

What about the post office?

Did he by chance have his mail forwarded?

I forgot what it is that you put under the return address (banks do it), so that when an address gets changed, the information comes back to you instead of the mail getting forwarded.

Utility companies come to mind too -- maybe you can use them?  Sending you a message....

No i dont have joint custody,,that is what the court date is for is to get joint and vistitaion,,,and no I alread asked my attorney that Montana law states anyone can take there kids out of school,,and the judge will not order him to put them back in ,,I called the post office and no forwarding address,,,,

[ocean]

Well, if he knows about that court date then he is obligated to be there that day. I wonder if your lawyer can ask the judge to suspend child support payments until he shows up at court? The judge may rule in your favor but then you have to find them to try and see them. He may show up that day knowing he is court ordered to...long wait but really if you found him now, there is nothing you can do until court anyway right? Even if you found him does not mean he will show up...

Does he have any family? Where do they live? Parents? Brother/Sisters? Maybe try and call them ONE time (so you are not harassing them) and explain that you have been clean for Xx amount of time and asking to see children. That you are willing to meet with them and have done XYZ to get the help you need. That you are not trying to go for custody, just visitation time. You might be able to get one of them that is not happy with him to talk to you.

Call the school again, does ex have to inform of the move? If yes, can they file something with the state for educational neglect? Did he follow the rules while he was in their school district?

Just read you last answer... see if the school system makes a parent register with the home school district. If they are not in the system anywhere...you can go for educational neglect as children are not in school or signed up for home school. Maybe the school can try and make contact since they still think he is there....then turn him in....

[bella]

Well, if he knows about that court date then he is obligated to be there that day. I wonder if your lawyer can ask the judge to suspend child support payments until he shows up at court? The judge may rule in your favor but then you have to find them to try and see them. He may show up that day knowing he is court ordered to...long wait but really if you found him now, there is nothing you can do until court anyway right? Even if you found him does not mean he will show up...

Does he have any family? Where do they live? Parents? Brother/Sisters? Maybe try and call them ONE time (so you are not harassing them) and explain that you have been clean for Xx amount of time and asking to see children. That you are willing to meet with them and have done XYZ to get the help you need. That you are not trying to go for custody, just visitation time. You might be able to get one of them that is not happy with him to talk to you.

Call the school again, does ex have to inform of the move? If yes, can they file something with the state for educational neglect? Did he follow the rules while he was in their school district?

Just read you last answer... see if the school system makes a parent register with the home school district. If they are not in the system anywhere...you can go for educational neglect as children are not in school or signed up for home school. Maybe the school can try and make contact since they still think he is there....then turn him in....

Thank you,Yes I already am quite sure he will not show up in court,,I am just hopeing that if I can find him I can let the judge no were hes at and make it easier for all involved to go see the children,,I also no that I will probably be in court alot because just cause I have an order stateing I cansee them doesnt mean that he will let me,,I no its gonna be a long ,hard road. Yes he has family,I have talked to some of them,they no what I am trying to do and support me,he doesnt talk to them cause of the girlfriend he has,the family doesnt like her,he has called his grams once in the last 3 years and that was to ask for money for a lawyer..I also talk to his x wife and she supports me and helps me as well,,,she is also looking for him now cause he is court ordered to pay child support and has missed payments.The school supperentindent said they he did follow all the rules when he had them signed up for homeschool,but here in Montana all u have to do is show a paper at the end of the year that u spent 1080 hours schooling them,,so as far as educational neglect,,I am not sure.

[ocean]

Ok, the school year is almost over. Ask them what will happen if he does not provide that paper?

Does he see the kids from the ex-wife at all? Easter? Summer?

Do you have girlfriend's name? Does she work?

Maybe go talk to the neighbors from the old place? See if they know anything or ever see your kids?

It is the courts job to find him now though...if he does not show, they prob reschedule, and see if he shows, then maybe a bench warrant.

You can make a standard school letter form (there is one from this site). In order to get school records you just have to be their parent (not custody). Send it to all the district offices in the state. Maybe worth the money if you find that he enrolled them. Add a sentence for them to check and see if they are on the home school enrollment list. Send to the DISTRICT address (not each school building....less paper).

Maybe contact your state education department and see if you can turn in him for not having the kids in school (after he does not give that letter to the school at the end of the year..). Is he really teaching them?? See if there are any home schooling groups that were by his last place. Sometimes the parents get together and do trips/teach/gym together. See if he had joined any of them.

Good luck!