What are a parents rights when they didn't see the children for 3 yrs

[TBegg1970]

My Ex and I Divorced in 1998 and during the divorce my Attorney had to send a letter to his Attorney almost begging him to see our kids . He seen them for awhile after that, but in October of 1999 (at this time we had a go-between that was taking the children to a drop off site so he could pick them up and return them. ) On this particular day he didn't show up at the designated spot and the children walked to his house with the go between and the children went up and knocked on his front door ,no answer, they knocked for a few more minutes still no answer, so they thought he might have been in the basement and went around and knocked on the back door, that is when they spotted him peeking from out behind some curtains. Finally he yelled at them to get the *F-word (that is the word my youngest explained what had went on, but he used the other word) off this property and not come back*. That was the last time they had heard anything from him good or bad as that case was, for 3 yrs, no letters, no response from him when I did write him telling him that our oldest daughter was going deaf,no birthday cards or presents or Christmas cards etc.... I had gotten re-married in 2001 and My Husband had wrote to the kids Dad asking him why he wouldn't see  and or write or call them, and their Dad wrote back saying on the advice from a *Paralegal* it was told to him , it might not be a good thing to see the kids and or talk to them or have any contact with them at all.

My qustion is, what kind of rights towards the kids does he have after not seeing them, or are they still the same as when we got Divorced? My Husband and I are wanting to take the kids on vacation to Disney Land and their dad told me I can't do that without his permission. The Oldest also has a rare sleeping disorder and has to take some meds 2 x's a day and he is throwing a fit about that!
Thank you !!!!

Tammy Begg