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my daughter

Started by SAMMY787823, Mar 08, 2006, 12:55:55 PM

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SAMMY787823

hi my name is sam iam 27 years old i have a 17month old baby girl who means the world to me, shes in foster care and has been for 6 weeks i just for the first time got to see her since they took her. her mother has not seen her. her mother is a drunk and only cares about her self when it comes down to it. her mother and i havent goten along for some time now, there came a time for me when i relized all the running around and parting had to stop well she didnt want to and it was hard for me .she took as so far as i paid my lawyer $3000 to get her out of jail and he did and got her a deal to do house arrest and she drank all night before and fought with me bad becouse i wanted her to go to sleep and stop the drinking and she wouldnt, it was rel bad she was throwing tables and fighting me physicaly i didnt want to wake her parents becouse i was afraid they would call the cops and she would wind up in jail well she did any how i brought her in in the morning to check in for house arrest and they kept her for alchol on her breath that was hard on me and ever since then she hasnt stoped she was in jail for 60 days and got out just to start in again i would take my baby at least three times a week and see her at my parents 2 a week as well. her mom would flip out when i would keep her overnight,but i would cause she my baby.after she got out of jail i never have had any respect for her or even care to talk to her becouse she would sleep all day and not give my baby any of her attention her dad had to care for her and he was drunk the majority of the time as well.after some time she wouldnt let me come pick her up any more mainly i think because i had enough and wouldnt bring her drugs or to the liquor store any more, she says couse i would keep her over night and keep her out late.after a week i went over and demanded her to explain why she would do this to me and our child she refused to talk to me about it and i began yelling , she called the police and had me thrown in jail and got a ofp against her and my daughter. she said she was in fear of me . i do have 3 pother pending domestics with her that had been physical, all with her being drunk and geting out of control then i would as well not drinking though. after she got the ofps no one in my family had been in contact with her family because they would not return my mothers phone calls with in about two weeks a neighbor of her calls me in the morning asking if i had heard this was on mon aparently on the previous fri her and her mom got into a fight where her mom knocked her teeth out and she grabed our daughter and ran to the neibors ,and called police they arrived to find her and her entire family drunk ,and her almost dropping our baby  few times . she went to detox they both got domestic and my baby has been gone since. my mother and i were in contact with the county imediatly and showed up for the court date. the judge lifted the ofp on my daughter and said i can have supervised visits as long as i comply with ss. i got caught using a wizzenator but took a ua at that time that to my knolage was clean and so have all the rest since this six weeks .my baby was suposed to be placed with family asap,whitch my parents passed any background checks with flying colors my parents are perfect they couldnt find any dirt on them if they , its just impossiable my babys mom though said she did not want her placed with them becouse she says when she had put the ofp in place that my mom had her and let me see her . witch is not true no one on my side had seen her since i went to jail.iam not sure how much of the things her mother has completed that ss has asked iam sure that she has yet to see her. the ss lady is very mean to me and my family and would set up visits and cancell them for me my daughters mom has not stoped drinking continues to call me and do whatever she can to make things hard for me unless i do what she wants and that is pretend she is the most important .the gaurdiam at lightem is recomending that my baby stays in the foster home becouse every body continues to make allagations about one another. we have court on fri. and the only help my lawyer gives me is just make sure i do every thing i can that ss wants even though i feel as if iam making no progress with them .my social worker curently wont return my phone calls becouse she had given me a wrong time for a visit and when my mom and i showed up she said oh you missed her and got on my case instantly about not filling out the ua forms correct and i was in total shock and was in tears uncontrolably and not responding to her and she was saying that if i cant talk to her then then she will cancel my visit on fri. and i dont know if i was suposed to have it or not there was some confusion and the foster mom  had to be called in and my social worker wasnt there and i did visit but have yet to get returned phone call and i leave her messages every day somtimes more then 1 . i wish my mom and dad had enough $ to hire there own lawyer i think if that happend at least my baby could be at there house. with family . when i seen my baby she wasnt as happy as she always had been the foster mom says she dosnt talk  just nods , she used to talk. i want this to end and her to be with family. my parents say that if she dosnt get placed with them on friday by the judge there gona get a loan and hire a big time attrny. but iam afraid becouse all these social workers are so evil and heartless and they think its okay shes in this foster home the only thing they got against my parents is bullshit and thats my daughters mom lying that she let me see her and it just not true no one has seen her. i forgot to mention that she has another daughter who she lost in a custody battle to the father and they dont let her even see her ss was never involved in that one .so they think that were them and we are tring to take her from them . all i want is my baby back one way or another i hope to god her mom gets well and straightens up but she didnt the fist daughter and dont seem to be again. thats my story and ripes me up insde to be going threw

mishelle2

WHAT STATE ARE YOU IN? GET AN ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!! QUICK,,, IF YOU HAVE TO SELL EVERYTHING YOU HAVE.. RUN TO DO IT.. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE

SAMMY787823

iam in MN. forest lake iam in the process of selling every thing i can, its all so nerve racking its hard for me to go threw my days even especially when at first my family and i thought it was best that had happened to not my daughter but her mom so things could be differant but these people are heartless and dont seem to be working with any one and it sure in my eyes and any one who knows us , to be in my daughters best intrest my parents told me today theyre having this team of lawyers review the case to see if they will take it on as part of work they have to do to get further in there job

Giggles

Not only did he have to fight the BM...but the STATE as well.  My Neice and Nephew were removed from the BM because her Husband (the kid's stepfather) was sexually abusing them.  My Brother had moved out of state because every time he would try to see the kids, BM would have him thrown in jail on some trumped up accusation (her father was the Deputy Sherrif in the town they lived in).  He was NEVER notified by the state that the kids were in Foster care and they claimed they didn't know where he was....but they could sure collect the CS everymonth...yah right...ugh  Anyway, my brother sold everything he had and moved back to the state and town where the kids were.  He tried to get visitation established first, the Caseworker assigned to the kids was extremely biased against him and would change the visitation times without notifying him and all kinds of other garbage.  My brother relized he needed a lawyer and worked out a deal with a local attorney who just was appaled by the Caseworkers behavior towards my brother.  To make a rather long story short...it took my brother nearly 3 years but he did finally get SOLE custody of his children.  The Stepfather is in jail and the BM no longer has anything to do with the children.

You're fighting a VERY BIASED system and you're going to need a VERY good lawyer.  Some suggestions I have for you is to enroll NOW in a parenting class.  STOP any kind of drinking, drugs (even over the counter cold medicine) or going "out" of any kind.  Make yourself into pretty much a chior boy.  Are you working?  Do you have a fairly decent place to live?  What is your work history like?  Get all appointments for visitation in writing.  DO NOT MISS or BE LATE to ANY appointment!!!  In other words, don't defeat yourself by giving the otherside ammunition against you!  Your stance is for what is in the BEST INTEREST of your daughter.  Be polite to the caseworkers (eventhough they do not deserve it).  If you feel they are not treating you with the respect you deserve, bring it up to your attorney...NOT TO THEM.  Let your attorney handle them and if need be he CAN go to his/her supervisor (my brother's attorney had to do this and she was removed from the case due to blatent disregard of the children's best interest).  If the caseworker pulls another switch of appointment times, do not get upset in front of her.  Go to your attorney and have him/her handle it!!  When/if you do get to see your daughter...focus soley on HER.  Bring in books and read to her or bring in some of her toys, sit and play with her.  Hold her and tell her you love her and miss her. DO NOT MENTION BM AT ALL!!!!  Tell her that G'mom and G'dad (your parents) love her and miss her to.  Perhaps bring a disposable camera...take lots of pictures, have them developed and start a photo album.  Place many pictures of her around your home in frames.  In other words...don't just say that she is your world...MAKE her your world!!

I wish you all the luck...but be prepared you are about to fight a VERY difficult battle.  You'll probably want to give up...but don't until that last and final order is made....and I bet it will be in your favor provided what you say about the BM is true.
Now I'm living....Just another day in Paradise!!