Update and Question

[Beantowngal]

We filed contempt, and the result has almost been miraculous!  Total turnaround with BM attitude, and that is good.  We go to court 10/17.

New dilemma..It is our weekend for visit.   BM informs us she "needs" child for 3 hours.  She and child and other members of her family are attending a suicide awareness walk.  They have a shirt for child.   We also are attending this walk, and we have shirts made.  This is our weekend, time for the brothers to spend together.  When child sees BM there he will feel gulity and be with her.  The walk is open to everyone, we all have good reason to be there.  This is how my son, the childrens father passed....don't want to fight, don't want to make child feel guilty.  The boys get such limited time together..........I cannot think straight and need help.
Thanks

[Giggles]

Oh humm....Maybe...just Maybe this "event" can be used to bring even more harmoney between you and BM?

Inform BM that you will be attending as well and if she likes....would she be willing to walk with you in support of your son?  That way all the children can walk together for a very worthy cause?

Worth a shot??  Maybe??

[Beantowngal]

Giggles,  That would seem logical wouldn't it?  Not going to work.  BM wants us to take him back to her (half hour away), she will dress him in her shirt and go the walk so he can be with his midget football team that going to walk as well.  That is great!  My other grandson has half of the marching band, the wrestling team, and the girls that follow him, BUT he wants to be with his brother.  There is no reason these kids cannot mix together, all are from the same small school.  BM has an agenda to do everything she can to keep the boys apart.  Oh, she informed me after the walk he will go home with her, and we will need to pick him up again.  The walk is about half way between us....everything is so damn painful.

[ocean]

Compromise, tell her you will meet her there and he can put on the shirt, and he can take him to his football area and follow him, while you walk with other son. They both should be walking with their groups, then at the end you will pick him up. If she can not agree to this, you will keep him for the weekend since this is your court ordered time. Give her the two choices:
BM,
As you know this is my court ordered weekend. I would be willing to meet you there...... or if you do not agree to that, I will keep him with me and he will walk with us. If you leave the event with son, I will be forced to file another contempt charge against you for interfering with my visitation time. I am will to compromise but driving him back to your house, only for me to follow you there and pick him up is a little ridicules. Please let me know which choice you would like to do.
Thanks
You

Make sure you have a copy of your court order in case you need police involvement. Get a police report if she takes him from the event.

[Beantowngal]

Thank you.  This event is emotional enough...it's only been a year.  I know she is trying to wear us down so we don't want to deal with her.  It's not going to happen.  It may kill me, but it is not going to happen.

[Kitty C.]

Regarding the kids walking together:  Kids have their own way of dealing with it and if there are that many there, I wouldn't be surprised if they all mingled together anyway.  Kids levitate towards one another and this may be something completely out of BM's control.  (gasp!)

[Beantowngal]

Thank you...thinking a bit more clearly today. 

Kitty...you are right.  Little brother loves hanging with big brothers friends. and they are pretty tolerant.

Ocean....I can do that.

New question, and I wouldn't ask if it hadn't happened to my son and I didn't see it happening again...what do I do when she comes to my house and demands her child. 

What does it take to get along with people like this?  My divorce was not this bad, never have had anything like this.  Do they ever pull their head out of their hiney?

[ocean]

Do not answer the door, call police (non emergency number) and let them know she is there and not welcome, have kids go to a back room. Have court papers ready to show if needed.
If you think this will happen, you can call the police early and say you think this may be an issue and mother may call them BUT this is your court ordered time.
Open window and say you are not answering door and if she does not leave you are calling the police.

Is this before the walk? Maybe get up early and go to breakfast so you are not even home  Then go directly to the walk.

[Beantowngal]

The good news is BM decided on her own we can bring child to the walk and participate from there. It is this Saturday, hoping it works out well.

I thought things were looking up, then I got a letter from the attorney taking care of my son's estate.  She wrote a letter to the judge, accused us of cleaning the house out, selling everything, and pocketing the money. She made her own inventory as to what she remembered being in the house with full retail prices.  She stated in this letter she is sure there are more bank accounts so she is calling banks/credit unions in the area to find out if there are accounts we are hiding, AND she called the very professional place where my son worked and asked that they do not donate any more money, as her son is not seeing any of it.  I am so embarressed.  None of this has happened.  She would not sign the papers for meto be executor, so we had to have a hearing (she did not attend) so I could be appointed.  There will be another hearing to deal with this.  Not concerned as we have done nothing wrong...her actions are costing the estate more which will mean less $$$ for the kids.  I am concerned about turning life insurance $$ over to her "safekeeping".  Oh, looked at online court records tonite, she still doesn't have an attorney but did see a new tidbit.  She is moving, 3rd time this year, because she is being evicted.  Printed that info.  Don't know if it will help anything.  Scares me even more to have her in charge of grandsons money.

Needed to vent...thanks!