Divorce, Custody, Child Support Questions In The State of Georgia

[BillyBoy1234]

My soon to be ex and I have been separated for several months and had agreed to joint custody with our kids (I'm VERY involved with them and they stay with me 3-4 days per week during the separation).  Well I recently found out her parents are in the process of buying her a home where she and the kids will live just a few miles from their house which is about an hour away from my house (though it is still in the same state which is Georgia).  This will obviously severely limit the amount of time I am able to involved in their life and it is extremely important to be to be able to help make decisions such as where they attend school, but obviously I'm more concerned about being able to be with them as much as possible than anything.  She now also wants me to pay child support even though we will share 50/50 custody.  I have already offered to split 1/2 of the actual costs and keep them 1/2 the time on top of taking 99% of the debt we have including the house which is probably not worth what is owed on it.  Just to be clear, I'm not looking for a way to get out of either raising my kids or paying child support.  I'm just looking to be fair.  My soon to be ex even admitted she knows if I had the money I would pay 100% of the cost to raise the children as I know money is not the primary asset in life... Anyway, my questions are:

1. Can I limit the distance she can live away from our current residence (i.e. has to live in the same county or within a certain radius that wouldn't inhibit my ability to be involved in my kids lives) ?
2. Is it possible to restrict her parents from attending the kids events (i.e. sporting events, school plays, etc..) that I will be attending.  This may sound petty but it could be a negotiating point.
3. Is there any actually good reason I should pay child support if I have the kids 50% of the time and are willing to split the cost of raising them?  To be clear, I don't have a lot of money and I'm not being greedy.  If I had extra money I'd gladly spend it...
4. I'm afraid my soon to be ex has been setting me up for quite some time.  I begged her for two years to get a job (I supported her from before we were married until I could no longer do it which was about 6 years) and she refused.  The only way I was finally able to get her to take a job (part time mind you) is that I told her I would be forced to stop paying her credit card bills.  She even stated while we were meeting with a marriage councilor that the reason she refused to get a job is because "she didn't want to".  Can this be a valid legal argument so I don't have to pay more than 50% of the actual cost to raise the children if I have 50% custody?
5.  Any other advice will be much appreciated.  I plan on hiring an attorney at this point and in hind site I should have done it a long time ago, but I was under the impression we were going to end this amicably considering I offered to take almost all of the debt and we agreed on joint custody...

Thanks in advance for your help

[ocean]

Do you have anything with the courts now? Separation agreement? Start the divorce?

If yes, look at those papers and see if there is something in their about her moving a certain amount of miles with kids.

If no, you can go ask for emergency temporary custody of children with the reason that you have children half the time since XX date and mother is planning to move xx minutes ( or xx miles) from current town. Ask that the children remain in current school district until the court hearing. She can move but you can ask that the kids stay with you, especially if the kids are school age, you can use that kids will remain in current school. You would have to go to family court to do this. You can fill it out yourself or have a lawyer do it for you.

Parents can go to school functions as it is a public event. You can write in your divorce papers that ex and her family will not communicate with father at children's events and activities. If there is a major concern, next big issue, call police and get restraining order against parents.

In future court papers you can state that children will not be removed from current school district unless both parents agree.

If your salary is higher than hers then you could pay her even with the 50/50 custody to keep the houses the same for kids. How is she going to pay the mortgage/rent/utilities?

If you have no current papers, you should be paying your bills only in your name. Until things are settled in court or court ordered, anything you do will be considered a gift. Close anything with your name, joint accounts. Open new accounts in your name only.

[BillyBoy1234]

Thank you for your advice.  We do not currently have any legal papers regarding the divorce or separation. One child is in Pre-K and the other is under the school age though my ex wants the child in Pre-K to remain there throughout this school year which means I will at least have to have them 50% of the time until the end of the school year.  I do not make a salary, I am paid on 100% commission.  In previous years I have done really well but in recent times (last 3 years or so) I have not hardly made anything though it is still probably more than hers since she refuses to work anything more than part time (3 days per week).  Her parents will be buying a house that she will live in (rent free I presume) which is how she will be able to afford to live.  I'm sure they could make up a bogus lease to try to make her expenses seem larger than they really are right now though... 

[ocean]

First one to the court house...asks for custody first. Go see a lawyer ASAP. When does she plan on moving? Ask the lawyer to get you emergency custody and stopping children for leaving school district (retraining order or however they want to word it). Tell the lawyer you do NOT want to start a divorce action yet but want custody so she does not up and move them. Divorces take a year or more to do if they are contested and that whole time she can do whatever she wants so you want paperwork from family court now.  An hour to school every morning it quite a bit??

If she owns a house, she will have to do more than part time work. The parents have enough to buy house without mortgage?

[BillyBoy1234]

Good advice.  I will start the process in the morning.  Yes, her parents can afford to buy a house without a mortgage.  Her excuse to me as to why she "can't" live any closer to me is because she says "my parents are controlling it and they are the ones buying the house".  This is the reason I wanted to know if I can have her parents barred from attending any events in the future to use as leverage to convince them to get her a house closer to me.  If I do have the kids 50% of the time I don't want to be made to drive them one hour each way to school.  She is the one that wants the divorce, not me, so I'm not sure why she should be able to decide to move an hour away and take the kids.  I realize a lot of stuff in a divorce proceeding doesn't necessarily make sense, but this is ridiculous.