Custody Changes/ Visitation issues

[amayamadelyn]

So my husband is in the navy and is underway pretty much all of December so he is having me research as much as possible on what to do. This is the total story from beginning to end, the only thing it excludes is that I have a soon to be three year old daughter from a previous relationship.  We know nothing about court procedures or what we, namely ME, can do asap to see his son. If anyone can give me advice on how interstate issues work for filing for custody changes and what rights the Step Mother/Father can do on behalf of the Parent i would appreciate it.


Joint Custody case filed 2007, never amended or changed beyond verbal agreement between Father and Mother. Father joined the Navy 2009, to help get child better insurance and pay for the 606 dollars in child support every month. Visitation continued to primary residence with the caregiver being the grandmother ( fraternal ). Mother continued to live in Savannah Georgia, with child and agreed and continued to allow the fraternal grandmother to take over visitation for when the father rarely could rush back home to see his son. Mother constantly is borrowing money from the fraternal grandparent, despite having a very good job.

Mother changes address frequently within the city of residence, along with telephone numbers. Moves in with her boyfriends father, a family rumored to be smoking pot. She quits her job in March 2011, Mother rarely bathes and when child is picked up for visitation he appears to be in the same state often having a foul oder. Mother claims to fraternal grandparent he was just sweaty from playing that day.Child develops skin and scalp irritations ( appears to be cradle cap at AGE 5 ) and shows signs of serious oral health issues. Mother refuses to take son to dentist, and argues intensively with father over the issue.

Father goes with father grandmother to drop off child at Mothers residence. While entering the home to use their facilities, he records the pitiful state of the residence. Trash, roaches, mold, are recorded on cell phone and later sent to Child protective services. 3 adults, 1 teenager, and 1 child live in residence no one works at this point and time. Only known source of income is child support paid to Mother. Child goes to regular doctor to get a bunch of shots that he was over due for, child starts Pre K.

Father increases insurance on son and has cards reissued to mother who claims they didnt work at the dentist who son says he did not go see. Father married while stationed in Norfolk va in mid September 2011. Primary home of father remained in Savannah Georgia along with the child's and his mothers home. Suddenly the rarely answered phone calls go to not answered at all, secondary contact of Facebook has block the father from his son. Mother suddenly allows contact on Nov 20th 2011 claiming the father should have just told him to clean the place up, despite concerns having been previously expressed about mess by fraternal grandparent.

She then proceeds to tell him she is moving Dec 16th, to Sumter SC will not express reason nor give address. Some of conversation is in txt. Threatens that he will not have child for thanksgiving, Christmas, and the weekend visitation with fraternal grandparents are over. Blames Father for the results of the argument by saying he didnt tell her that He had married and thats why he nor the grandmother will be able to see Child for the holidays and weekends. Mother still refuses to tell why she is moving, suspected of running from CPS cause of the state of the trailer her and the child reside in. Eventually allows for visitation for thanksgiving and weekends until move. Refuses anything on Christmas still, saying he can only see the Child on Dec 26.

Despite knowing that Father's approved leave time is only till that day and he must return to Norfolk Va. Custody orders state that the mother has the first half of Christmas holiday, Until 2pm christmas day, and the father has the second half this year. Unless child's residence is over 200 miles away from other parent. Then he has to get him on Dec 26 at 9am until school starts.

Mother is also required to give a minimum of 30 day notice to father along with full address, before moving. The city the mother is moving too is only 165 miles from Fathers address. Thinking she may have chosen a spot that is exactly over 200 miles, What can we do to guarantee our visitation rights to his son for Christmas and do we stand a chance of getting primary custody if we file for it?

[tigger]

Technically "we" can't get anything.  The father is the only one who may get visitation, custody, etc. 

In order for you to act on his behalf, he needs to give you Power of Attorney.  That still doesn't give you rights to the child.

He needs to file to block the move.  If the conditions are as bad as he claimed, he needs to file for custody, however, being in the Navy, he may not have a chance.  Others (especially those with military experience) can give better advice based on their experiences.