Results of Court Hearing - need advice....

[Heston]

I've posted before on this case and it finally went to court this week.  To summarize, the BM has prevented me from seeing my child consistently since the JCO went into effect 20 months ago (and before on previous JCOs).  She brought people with her who were banned in the JCO.  She was consistently late between 30 mins and 2 hours.  She only let me have 3 days vacation time this year instead of 28 days.  She physically attacked me.  The list goes on and on.  The BM filed a motion earlier this year asking for parental exchanges to be reversed, but she never kept to the exchanges ordered on the JCO anyway.  Basically, she was trying to get the court to agree to what she was already doing, against the JCO.  She wanted me to attend counseling claiming I have mental problems and wanted me to sign a HIPPA release.  When I filed a counter motion and another one for contempt (denied parental time, lateness, not agreeing holiday schedules, etc) the BM really went to town.  The BM got my child to tell the "counselor" (who is not licensed) various lies, such as that I am mean to her, that I hit her, that I say terrible things about her mom, that I told her that her mom will murder her and how she will do it, etc etc.  I did not become aware of this until mid summer, when my daughter told me about it, but it had happened since I filed a counter motion in the Spring.  We went to a hearing in mid July and due to the amount of evidence, and the number of motions filed, the judge scheduled a new hearing for this week.  The BM was angry that she didn't get her way easily that day.  So two days later, on the Friday of a scheduled parental weekend, she did not inform me she was bringing my child and ignored my requests for confirmation that she was on her way.  After waiting 1.5 hours, I eventually had to go out with my son briefly.  What the BM did was take my daughter to a drug store near my home and call for a police escort.  When the officer arrived, she produced a bag of vomit claiming my daughter was sick at the thought of spending time with me.  She got my daughter to tell the officer that I told her that her mom is a famous murderer and will murder my daughter and that I locked her up in a hot room with no food and that I am mean to her.  This all happened almost two hours after my daughter was due at my home.  The cop left a voicemail message which I received when I returned shortly afterwards and when I spoke to him later he told me some of what had happened.  I found out the details later when I requested police records.  The following Monday the BM filed a motion to the court requesting supervised visitation on the basis that I speak "inappropriately" to my child and then she stated the alleged murder story.  It was the most ridiculous motion anyone has ever seen.  It was almost like a joke, if the potential repercussions were not so serious.  I recently discovered that there were 120 pages of police reports filed by the BM.  All total fiction of her building a fictitious case against me.

While we waited for the hearing, the BM continued denying visits.  Then my daughter arrived one day with her finger in a cast.  The BM infomed me her little brother broke her finger but while she was with me my daughter told me her step dad did it.  I have that on video.  I did what I could on this issue.  CPS were involved.  The BM and husband denied it, of course.  The BM rehearsed lies with my daughter so she told the CPS what the BM wanted her to.  I had taken my daughter to the apt and my daughter came out saying she lied to CPS.  My daughter also told me her mother rehearsed what she should tell cps with her and I have all this on video.  I filed a motion anyhow to get this on record.  It was a tricky situation and I did what I could with it.  Because I dared take my daughter to the hospital and the CPS person, the BM stopped me seeing my daughter from that point onwards and I have not seen my daughter since.

So, now to the hearing this week.  I represented myself pro se as I had no other choice.  The BMs attorney is a sleaze.  My previous attorney warned me he is evil so I knew I would have a rough time.  I am used to questioning people from my previous job so I did pretty good in questioning the witnesses.  I won't go into all the details here, but I got some things out into the open about the BM that I had wanted the court to be aware of for some years, because the BM went on the stand and I was able to cross examine her and get her to admit she had been in rehab many times and had been addicted to drugs and alcohol. (She still is, and I know what is going on but am unable to prove it yet).

Now to the worst part...the "counselor" was the BMs star witness.  I had reported her to two governing bodies earlier this year so she doesnt like me.  She had denied me access to my daughter's records even though the JCO states I am entitled to have them and her behavior caused me to file complaints because she had been unethical on other matters also.  So the "counselor" told a tale of how horrible I am.  She claimed I called her and demanded the records and called her a whore.  Total lie.  I had after weeks of stalling become very assertive but I would never say something like that and didn't so I was shocked by that accusation.  Anyway, with the help of the attorney, the "counselor" rambled on and on and quoted from her notes, saying all the above things and more.  She was claiming I treat my daughter badly, and that I have said all the things the BM told my daughter to tell her.  She went on and on and would not stop.  I cross examined her and got her to admit to calling the BM 3-4 times a week and meeting her in parks on her days off for sessions.  I asked her if it was possible that the BM had coached my daughter to say those things and surprisingly she said yes it was possible.  (I am guessing the only reason she said this was because another counselor who knows her and my daughter, informed the "counselor" that my daughter was lying, and she knew that other qualified counselor was going to be a witness).  I brought up the multiple relationships ruling which the "counselor" denied any knowledge of and brought up the fact she could not be unbiased when she is treating not only my daughter but the BM and the BMs two other kids.

I had video evidence of my daughter saying in detail how the BM makes her lie to the counselor and the cops and the cps.  But the judge ruled it inadmissable.  I brought the other counselor, my witness, to the stand.  This counselor had viewed the video so I was able to get the contents of the video onto court records by asking the counselor questions.  The counselor came across as an experienced and expert witness in comparison to the other "counselor".

Although I questioned the step father, nothing could be proved although I did cast considerable doubt upon him.  The judge ruled that it was an accident.

The judge kept allowing the other side to present hearsay evidence and all my objections were overruled.  When I presented evidence that was not hearsay the other attorney kept claiming hearsay and most of his objections were sustained.  The judge knows that attorney and I felt the whole thing was very biased.  The judge said she would issue an Order in a few days.

I have the Order.  The BM was granted her wish of reversing pickups and drop offs.  Many of the points on my motions were overruled in the Order itself.  The BM did not get her way with the HIPPA release or enforcement of counseling for me.  BUT, I was found guilty of talking inappropriately to my child and the Order states that if I talk inappropriately again, and it is made known to the court, the court will revoke my visitation rights.  And "visitation" is undermining in itself as I have joint legal and physical custody, although no one would know it by the way I am denied my rights on parental time, and other things.

The way the Order reads, it is giving a green light to the BM to continue telling my daughter to lie to the "counselor", go back to court and get rid of me.

So, I have a huge dilemma.  How do I protect myself?  How do I prove I don't talk inappropriately to my daughter?  Bearing in mind this judge will not allow video evidence, how can I prove what I say and do not say to my daughter?  I can't afford to pay someone to stay at my house from Friday to Sunday to be a witness.  Any ideas or suggestions would be very welcome.  This is currently my biggest concern and I believe it is a huge one.

I got no make up time.  The BM was fined $100 for being late.  That was her only punishment.  Due to the reversed parental exchange arrangements, there are going to be massive problems.  The only positive thing to come out of it was that the judge ordered a parental coordinator which I had requested and she ordered that my daughter sees a PhD psychologist.  Already the BM and her attorney are creating problems concerning agreement to and arrrangements with a coordinator.  I would not want to discourage anyone from acting pro se.  But I do believe the judge was teaching me a lesson for having the nerve to go into court and represent myself.  I also think I was at a disadvantage as a pro se litigant as I was not able to refute their allegations or present my side of things.

The court clearly favors liars.  All a person has to do is get someone to tell another person a bunch of lies and then have that person repeat the lies in court.  And the accused party is not allowed to present evidence that would prove his innocence.  There was not a grain of truth in the BMs accusations via the counselor.  It was all hearsay but they got round the hearsay rule with the "counselor" on the hearsay exception of allowing a witness to quote from regular notes taken in the execution of their duty. The cop clearly was in breach of hearsay rules but the judge allowed it.  The cop did not appear to believe the story but he had to repeat it.

I showed by way of a witness (a cop from animal protection), that the BM filed a false claim that I had broken my dog's leg. This cop testified that she found there to be nothing wrong with the dog and that it was well cared for.  This showed the BM does make false allegations to the cops about me.  But that didn't stop the judge believing the BMs murder story allegations.  The judge did not order supervised visitation but she punished me with threats of revokation of my rights to see my daughter.

I was completely set up.  There was no evidence.  They got the cop to repeat what my daughter told him re the murder story and that was hearsay.  And they used the "counselor" to repeat lies (and add some of her own!).  So I was set up on hearsay evidence and false claims.  And the BM was rewarded for doing this by having an Order state that if I continue to do this, and it is made known to the court, that all my rights will be revoked.

Do I have faith in the system?  Absolutely not!  I don't think anyone could or should expect justice in family courts.  Whether or not there is justice is down to a proverbial roll of the dice, imo!

[msme]

WOW, I thought our situation was bad but yours makes ours look like a walk in the park. I am so sorry you are going through this & wish I had some help to offer but the best I can do is tell you that we are praying for you.

The only thing I can think of is to see what technology is available to put a video camera & recorder in every room that is motion or sound activated & sending it to your computer. Then, you could have it professionally transcribed. If it is all in print, maybe it could be admitted.

Also consider taking her to a licensed child psychologist when she is with you. If she tells you she lied to someone about you. I would say something like, "I'm sorry you did that. I know that you know it is wrong to lie & I hope you will tell the truth from now on." It isn't much but maybe it is something you can use.

Good luck & God bless

[Heston]

Thanks, msme.

My concern is that the judge does not allow video evidence.  And without allowing a video, I don't think they would allow a transcript because without a video to back up the transcript, the transcript could be full of lies.  Also, if I did video everything in the house for an entire weekend, what about the drive to my home...I guess that could be videod but then the judge won't allow video evidence involving the child.  That is why the BM got away with her allegations of talking inappropriately.  I had a video of my daughter saying her mom makes her tell the counselor bad things about me but the judge didn't want to know about it, and wanted to accuse me instead.  So I can only guess the same will be true if I have further video evidence to prove my innocence.  All the BM has to do is let me see my daughter a couple of times, have her tell the "counselor" I said bad things, and then file a motion to the court.  The judge believed the "counselor" this time, and no doubt will again.

The BM is stalling the process of court ordered parental coordination and qualified psychologist for the child, and this is because they don't want my daughter going to someone who can find out the truth.  They want me to see my daughter before those people are in place, so they can get the unqualified counselor to go to court and repeat lies and get my rights revoked.  If the coordinator and psychologist were already seeing my daughter, the judge would be unlikely to base a decision solely on the unqualified counselor.  But as long as they are not in place, and there is testimony from the "counselor", the judge is likely to accept that testimony and I no longer see my daughter and get my joint custody revoked.

The court has put me in an impossible situation.  They are quite happy to stop a young child seeing her father when it's a known fact that children need both parents.  The attorney is even stating now that both he and the BM have to approve a coordinator and psychologist, when the Order states that both parties must come to an agreement about them.  The attorney now says "we" have to agree and then explains what he means by "we".  This is a corrupt situation.

[Giggles]

I would seriously considering filing an appeal....and then taking the case to the media....

Letting them know about the "UNlicensed" counselor.....and all the other BS that is going on with this case.

You may even get some Atty's to step forward ProBono??

This is something that I think media outlets would like to cover....worth a shot...

[ocean]

Media is a good avenue since you have video of child saying all those things and judge would not listen to it. You can try putting in an appeal but would need grounds (maybe the hearsay stuff, or not allowing evidence?). Is this judge up for election next month? I would make a big campaign for him NOT to be re-elected. Maybe go to a politician that represents your area, show videos and court papers and push for family laws to be changed.

Send lawyer or ex a certified/registered letter overnight that state "according to the new order, xx will be seen by a licensed psych and parenting coord. picked by both parties, please forward the names of the people you would like to use by October X. I will look over their credentials and will give you an answer by Tuesday, so we can set up an appointment.  If I do not hear from you with the names, I will ask the court to appoint someone. I will be picking xx up at your house according to the new order on XX date and XX time. If there are anymore issues at pick-up, I will be forced to file another contempt and add it to the December hearing. If there are no more issues during my parenting time, up until the court date, I will strongly consider dropping those contempt charges. It really is in the best interest for XX to have us stop fighting and try to be civil so she can have both parents in her life."

[Heston]

Thanks for those suggestions.  I will give it serious consideration.  I am just fearful of making the judge even more biased against me.  I've done some checking today on this judge and found a lot of negative comments about her from others she has treated badly.  The overriding theme is that she doesnt care about family and particularly children, doesn't look at evidence even if it's put under her nose and usually leaves kids with the abusive and alienating parent.  I also found this comment:
"She pre judges you before you even get in her court room. She is not for justice or for the children.  She is only for who or what attorney will support her compaign.  For some reason if you have more testosterone you get away with murder in her court. "

I guess I didn't stand a chance, but her decisions are likely to leave me losing my child.  Another trick the sleazy attorney pulled was this.  Having prevented me getting holiday time for two years the BM stated in her motion that she wanted the Court to establish a holiday plan or refer it to mediation so a holiday plan could be set.  I opposed it and wanted the original to be adhered to, in other words the one she was in contempt of.  When I got the judge's Order it stated that the Court order adopts the BMs holiday schedule as set forth in Exhibit X.  The sleaze attorney did not show me his exhibit.  He sneaked that one in.  And so now I have to abide by the holiday plan submitted by the BM!  And in that plan it states that the parents share 4 rotating weeks during summer and that I have to forgo my weekend parental time during those weeks. Previously I had 4 non consecutive weeks as well as my weekends.  And the BM has stated which public holidays each of us gets and the timings of them.  Some days for just 3 hours!  And all to suit her.  I got no say in summer vacation or public holidays and yet I have joint physical and legal custody!  Nearly all my points were overruled, as well as being found guilty of something I did not do, whilst the BM got away with appalling behavior and contempt. I got 3 days out of 28 this year for holidays.  This new holiday schedule gives me two days at xmas.  Nothing more.

The previous order, still current to some extent, said that the BM has to show proof from a dr that the child is too sick to be transported if she is unwell, otherwise she can be sick in either parent's home.  BM never did that.  So I requested in my motion that it should also be stipulated that parental time cannot be denied on the basis that the child says she does not want to go.  (Obviously, I know the child is told to say this both to me and the cops and have it on video).  The judge overruled it, which means the BM can refuse parental time based on my daughter saying she does not want to go.  Between this and the fact the BM only has to get the "counselor " to return to court claiming I said inappropriate things, it is only a matter of weeks before my rights are removed.  The BM is purposely not going along with coordination or a psychologist for my daughter, so that she can allege inappriate things via the "counselor", which could not be done so easy if others were involved. 

I am very tempted with taking this to the media but am really worried that it will cause me more problems.  I have been screwed by the courts for many years with regard to my daughter.  This was the worst though as it gives the BM a green light as well as a method with which to get rid of me completely.

The BM contacted a well known politician claiming I subject my child to alienation.  She is the one that does that, but it suited her to say this as it fit in with her murder allegations.  Her attorney waived the reply from this politician in front of the judge.  I saw the judge really seem to take that famous name on board.  I doubt the ltr could have said much as no politician could get involved especially with no proof.  I am considering going to see that poliltician and taking the video where my child states what her mother makes her do.  No one who sees that video will be in any doubt as to it being authentic or what the BM is up to. Oh and get this, the sleaze did not provide that letter in discovery.  That should disqualify it from being shown to the judge but this attorney doesnt play by the rules.  I guess he knows he doesn't need to before this particular judge!