BM wants new evaluator after evaluation grants BF 50/50 parenting time

[neutron11]

We are in WA state. We are still under preliminary orders and had an evaluation done in April. The results showed BM as unstable and proposed a visitation schedule of 50/50, joint custody in all senses but given child's age (4) BM would retain her position as residential parent (with the condition of another evaluation in two years). Since then, my DH has discovered unsettling information about BM and wanted to have an update done before trial. BM has refused to do so and on top of that wants to do a new evaluation since she was unhappy with the results (note that she didn't mention this until my DH asked for an update). The evaluator we used said that if she were the child's Guardian ad litem she would be able to proceed without the mother's consent. My questions are: is it possible to have the evaluator named Guardian AD Litem? How do we go about doing that? Is there a way to court ordered the update? If BM really wants another evaluation, would my DH have to pay for it, even if he is happy with the results from the first one? (he paid entirely for the first one since she claimed she didn't have money to contribute to it). We do have a lawyer but she is on vacation right now and we don't want to miss an opportunity. Any help will be appreciated!

[ocean]

If you think you need a GAL then at the next hearing (or file a motion) ask for a GAL and ask the XX be named the GAL since she already knows about the case. I would be asking for an updated evaluation to be added to current one since there is new evidence from when it was done. (if you ask then you may pay...). She can ask for a new one but she will have to have a reason and not just that she didnt like the last one. You could always use the last one as evidence and call that evaluator as a witness.

[neutron11]

so our lawyer realized that court order said that Parenting evaluator's job would end once a parenting plan is established. Since we don't have one yet, that means that her job is not done. Therefore she can continue with her evaluation up to two moths before the court date. BM doesn't want the evaluator and claims she is biased but she wants us to come up with a new evaluator (??). We obviously don't have an issue with the evaluator so why would she assume that it's our responsibility to get a new one? It's one of the weird things about BM. She won't do anything and expect us to fix her own issues (!). Our lawyer has told her numerous times that she is not HER lawyer and she doesn't have to give her legal advice. Anyways, the evaluator, after reading court order, agreed to proceed but lawyer asked BM that if she doesn't agree with the update then we will file a motion of contempt, which means more money to spend for us. It's really frustrating and I guess I don't have a question... just venting. This whole thing  seems so absurd.

[neutron11]

UPDATE: BM refused the update saying Parenting Evaluator was biased. DH then had a motion for the update and included a motion for contempt since BM refuses to cooperate with evaluator and also did not provide contact information for DH in several cases (child is delayed and she didn't provide his contact information to the speech therapy in charge of dealing with this issue). He just received her response and she claims evaluator was biased based on small inaccuracies in her report (for example, did not include BM has a bachelor's degree, her marriage was nulled, etc). She also claims evaluator didn[t contact everybody in her list. Evaluator had same small inaccuracies with DH and evaluator didn't contact all people in DH's list. She provides letters from different people who, when they read the evaluator report, couldn't believe how negatively BM was portrayed. These people were not contacted by evaluator and hardly knew BM (just for a couple of months but they say wonderful things about her). She includes as exhibits letters even from one of her professors saying she is a great student (not sure how that is relevant to the case since she left those studies unfinished). Her major critique is that evaluator based most of her evaluation on the psychological test (she didn't, she based on talking to BM, DH and other people and reading all the information given to her by both parties). Now BM says she is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (not sure what trauma caused it but we know she is going to blame DH since he is the cause of everything that is wrong with BM). Since she suffers from this, then her MMPI is invalid. My question is what are the chances that the evaluation is dismissed after her points? DH wanted same evaluator to do an update but she wants a complete new evaluation with a new person. DH can't hardly afford for the update but to start from scratch is even more costly. BM doens't want to pay for anything since she only have a part time job and it's a full time student (mind you she declared she is going to be a student till 2020, so graduation will be when she is in her forties!). Do you know anything about post traumatic stress disorder? Can that affect parenting? Will that interfere somehow with the results of her MMPI as she claims? Please advise!

[Kitty C.]

Her just saying she has PTSD doesn't necessarily make it so.  I would think that she would have to have that diagnosis come from a practitioner who is trained and educated on dealing with PTSD.  For example, her family MD won't do.  Basically, she needs to PROVE it and that she's being treated for it.  So before I would go off and start the evaluation process all over again, I would demand that she shows proof of the diagnosis.  If she can't, see if you can get the court to order psych evals. (your DH would probably have to take one, too).

ONLY if or when she can furnish proof of diagnosis would I think it be necessary to look at getting a new evaluator.  Question:  how were the first two evaluators chosen?  Because if she chose the first one and your DH chose the second, I would request the court to provide an evaluator...if it comes down to that.

[neutron11]

Thanks, Kitty. She did provide with a mental health specialist's note so it seems she does indeed suffer from PTSD. She was sexually abused/raped when she was 13 by her stepfather so it doesn't surprise me that she has issues. We have been saying all along that she was mentally unstable and she always denied it. Now she is using this to negate the previous evaluation. Dont' get me wrong, I'm happy she is getting help and hopefully that's going to be positive in her life but I'm just not sure it's only PTSD what she has. Anyways, court is next week so we'll see what the judge decides. It's just so emotionally draining. I thought we would have finished by Nov and it seems if a new evaluation is ordered, it will drag until next year.

[neutron11]

oh, and we have had only one evaluator and was chosen by DH's lawyer. DH's is not against a new evaluation, but last one cost $4500 and our funds are draining quick. At this rate, we might not have money for trial! it's scary indeed!

[Kitty C.]

Would a psych eval be out of the question, then?  Seems to me that if she has a mental health history, that would be something you might want to explore.  Understand that if your DH goes that way, he will have to have one, too.

[neutron11]

So we had court today and commissioner agreed to our update with the same parenting evaluator. Said BM's complains were not serious enough to warrant a change in evaluators and in fact, kind of praise the evaluator (it seems the court knows her and she has a really good reputation). that's good but now BM says she broke up with boyfriend and he's not in her life anymore. He actually wrote a letter on her behalf in her response and change immediately his facebook page (we used his faceboock page to prove there was a relationship between them) to show he was single and that he went back to his hometown. For me all this is clearly a ploy so that he is not evaluated but we have no proof their relationship continues. Yet I have the feeling that after a few months after evalution is over, they weill somehow reconcile. It's frustrating to be right and yet not have proof of it. DH is going to push for a thorough psych evaluation for BM (and if he has to do it, that will be fine). I'm convince she has serious issues so maybe with medication she will be better. One can only hope.

[ocean]

Ask that the new order included a sentence that XX is not allowed the children for any reason during her parenting time. If she is truly away from him, she will agree to this.