Move Away

[sturich65]

My ex and I completed our divorce in sept of 2010 (yes 125 days ago) and thankfully in the PSA (property settlement agreement) I insisted on a statement of intent to raise the three children here in NJ within close proximity to each other, and that this is in the children's best interests. This was put into the first paragraph. I had threatened to walk out during the negotiations if this provision was not added. Her parents live in CA and I had a feeling that at some point they would pull a stunt like this.

About three weeks ago she told me that her parents were going to shortly refuse to pay her rent anymore ( as they have been doing for the past 1.5 years since our separation) and were going to move her and the three kids to their house in CA. They have recently created an Apt for her downstairs and want to move her there. Her mother can be best described as man hating and her father as catatonic. They were supposedly going to purchase her a house here in NJ but have since reversed their offer.

I have consulted two lawyers and both have said that I stand a very good chance of prevailing in a move away motion.  Has anyone here had any experience in NJ  especially and what happened?

[ocean]

I am in NY and have seen a few cases where mom was told she can go but kids stay with dad in NY. File a restraining order that the kids will not be removed from current school district or home town until the hearing date. File the restraining order and the custody papers the same day. The restraining order will be heard that day, say you fear she will leave at any moment with kids to CA and that your divorce was just signed and has the no moving provision in it. Tell ex that she is free to move but then you will be asking for primary custody of the children and she will be the non custodial parent. Does she have a job in CA?

In your custody paperwork, the reason is that current court order does not allow for moveaways, this was just addressed in the divorce proceeding xx months ago, that father is involved and wants to stay a big part of the childrens everyday lives, school, family and friends are in CA. (add if mom has a job and no reason she can not rent an apt in CA).

Save all emails or texts with your ex dealing with this issue. If it has been with phone calls, switch to emails or texts or after a phone call, summarize it with an email to her.

[sturich65]

Actually I just re-read the PSA and my lawyer thankfully put (or snuck) in a complete separate paragraph that I missed (big duh). It was sort of on the topic of vacations (not a separate section) but states that she can not have them at her parents house for more than three weeks in any given calendar year. I can't believe that I missed that. My attorney deserves a big  congrad, and I deserve a big smack for not reading this provision. Yes she was represented by an attorney of her own. 

About a week ago she took me to court on a bogus "order to show cause" which was struck down by the judge as she (Judge) gave her a "Judge Judy" style sermon. The judge asked me what I thought and I said that she was looking to move out of state and was trying to create a paper trail. Judge stated that she was not to take kids out of state without either her (judge..eg court's) or my permission or she would be jailed. Judge said that an order to keep kids in state was not neccesary. Seems most judges are annoyed by these sudden (same day) motions and I doubt this would get me far.

[ocean]

Has ex said anything after that court date last week about moving? If not , watch it very closely. If kids are in school, ask to be called if she signs them out of district or if another district asks for their records.

The hard part is that she goes, signs kids up in CA schools and then you are playing the find her, serve her, get kids back to your state, have the two states talk and agree to send kids back. She pulls the abuse card or something else and tries to get CA courts to make order...all while your kids are away from you. Just seen it happen on here too many times. Seems like this judge is on to her so for at least this year, if you keep that judge in your family courts system you will be okay. Watch and make sure that judge stays, is re-elected, and then does not get switched to another court. When that happens you will be dealing with someone else that may not be on her like this one is. Hopefully the judge got to her last week and she will stay.

[sturich65]

Actually she asked me today if I was willing to negotiate. She told me her parents would offer me their RV to see kids in when I went to CA. I asked if she seriously expected me to swap my kids for an RV. I also told her that she negotiated in bad faith and anything they promise will be not taken seriously.

I researched the law a bit and she would have to be in CA for at least six months to assert CA juristiction. Else the police/ sheriff is required by federal law to abide by any "court of competent juristiction's" ruling. I was told by a lawyer that if she wishes to take them to CA to insist on an itenery before she leaves or go to court to block her travel plans which I will do!!     

[MixedBag]

Add to that jurisidiction subject.....if YOU don't leave the original jurisdiction, doesn't matter where the other/CP Parent moves to, jurisdiction should stay where you live.

HOWEVER, I know that several parents have also lost that argument in court -- but it's the first stand I would recommend.  Particularly since the CP has started building up a case file that doesn't make them look good in the eyes of the court.