Joint Physical?

[waspnut514]

I have 43% visitation time with my daughter she has special needs. I was granted additional visitation time since my ex was very inconsistent about my daughter's school attendance. Currently within the past 6 months  (ex has benign brain tumors) ex has fallen in her home 3x without my 12 year old being to help her, broke her foot and was put in rehab facility for 1 month 1/2 also she killed my daughter's dog by leaving it in cage (in her home) without feeding it and then killed her cat by leaving it to overheat in her trailer when her A/C went out. Since my daughter has a reading comprehension issues I enrolled her in a after school reading program that would help her. Ex has taken out of the reading program because she want's to spend more time with her. (not even considering my daughter needs this program) She is again exhibiting selfish and inconsistency

So thinking about pursuing joint physical since I have 43% visitation time.  Any ideas?  Thanks

[Kitty C.]

JMO, but I think you should try for sole physical, given the medical issues of the ex and the needs of the child.  In previous hearings/trials has the subject of the ex's medical condition ever been brought up?  If not, then it needs to be.  To me, it sounds like she's having an increasingly difficult time taking care of the child.  Not that the child has suffered significantly...yet.

You need to get LOTS of documentation.  As much as you can from the school.  If your DD had been enrolled in the after-school reading program and then was pulled by the ex, see if you can get documentation from the school that shows any progression or recession that DD had because of it (grades/comprehension before and after).

As for the ex's medical issues, that will probably have to be requested by her atty.  If any hearing about this is a direct issue regarding that, her medical records will have to be submitted for review.  As for the dog and cat, it points to the ex's inability to be observant regarding welfare of others...definitely something that should be brought up in court.

I say go for sole physical because you always want to ask for more than you're willing to settle for, that way you have some wiggle room to negotiate.  Be very emphatic that you are NOT trying to take the child away from her mother, but that the child's safety, wellbeing, and education must come first.

[ocean]

I agree... but really focus on that ex pulled child out of educational program that she needs according to school district then use the medical as secondary reason. Ex just needs to prove that her condition is manageable and if she gets ANY dr to write she is fine under meds.....
If you have good documentation, go for physical custody of child during school year with mom getting visitation (and maybe request that another family member must be in house at all times to ensure daughter's safety).

[Davy]

Based on your posting, IMHO you are well justified to seek sole custody and ONLY SUPERVISED access of the child by the BM(outside the BM's home) while primarily focusing on the well-being and general welfare of the child.

A twelve year old should not be the primary care taker of a medically dysfunctional parent and may force the issue so that the BM receives adequate and proper care.  At least that should be the hope for todays and all the tomorrows. 

To me, the educational issue, while important, takes a far second to the child's everyday living environments.  I suspect the pet issues could be considered of a criminal nature (or heavy civil fines) in some jurisdictions especially if the judge has a "save a horse .... ride a cowboy" mindset.