I'm 17 and need Emancipation

[Klein_2007]

Ok heres my story. I am 17 and have been having problems with my mother and her husband (my stepdad). He can be very hurtful and so can my mother. In the past my mother has what people would say verbally abusing me. calling me horrible names saying im not good enough and how she should never have had. On the other had my step-father can be abusive. He's pushed my down our stairs before hit me has hit my mother, throws things at people, he has a very bad temper. I have two jobs and am looking for a third. i have a car and i have my own insurence that i am paying. My real father said he'll help me out if i end up in a jam but i he thinks it will be best for me to be on my own. I am also leaving for the military next summer after i get my diploma. Does anyone have any suggestions of what i could do?

[4honor]

Wait it out if you can, but if the physical abuse gets out of hand call police and have yourself taken out of the home.

In the mean time, put away every dime you can and get the best grades you can under the circumstances (work and home life). It will take you over a year to get emancipated if your mother and SF contest it, so save the $$ and the trouble -- and there will be trouble if your mom thinks you are going to emancipate and take the CS $$ from her -- all the while making her out to be a bad mother. (I never asked for emancipation, but my mother was much like yours when I was 17. I had no SF.)

On your 18th birthday go sign the papers to join the military on a delayed entry program -- take the testing process seriously. Choose wisely.

As for the mental abuse, find yourself a church youth group or a group therapy group. Try to stay encouraged and up beat in the face of this adversity. The goal is to put a balancing amount of positive into your life as there is negative coming in. It is nearly impossible to prove mental abuse. The fight alone will do as much damage to your psyche as the abuse.

When you turn 18, you should be able to move out of your parents' home -- though some states differ. If you have saved your money, you should be able to move not long after your birthday and survive until you graduate. It may not be living high on the hog, but it may be better than staying in the situation you are in. Work on survival skills (laundry, cooking, bill paying etc) in the interim.

[msme]

You should probably find someone whom you can trust & have them help you a bank account that requires 2 signatures to withdraw the money. This serves 2 purposes. first, it will help you save cuz you will have to tell the other person that you need to take money out & also, it will prevent your parents from trying to force you to give them the money. I am not sure but I do believe that in most states, they can take kids money.

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[backwardsbike]

Hi!

I just found your post and wanted to respond.  I am hoping that you are doing OK.

When I was young, I'm 44 now, my parents were mentally abusive to me.  I didn't see it.  it never occured to me to leave, or rebel in anyway.  What happened was that I lost my sense of individuality.  The abuse casued me to doubt myself tot he point of not thinking I could ever make it on my own.

i ened up in an abusive marriage.  But that lead me to therapy.  The therapy saved my life!  it was like after 30 years the sun had finally come out.  After awhile I relazed how depressed i had been.  I honest to God had not known that I was depressed.  Everyone around me was depressed so it seeemed normal.

What I wanted to say is that I respect and admire you.  You have laready gottn wonderful pratical advice. You seem level headed.  Seek out some support for yourself.  Church, school teacher or counselor, the parents of a friend.  its  a tough world out there, but you'll make it.

Get therapy when you can.  it can be the difference between just exsisting and actually livivng.  I wish you the best the world has to offer.

Good luck.

[backwardsbike]

Hi!

I just found your post and wanted to respond.  I am hoping that you are doing OK.

When I was young, I'm 44 now, my parents were mentally abusive to me.  I didn't see it.  it never occured to me to leave, or rebel in anyway.  What happened was that I lost my sense of individuality.  The abuse casued me to doubt myself tot he point of not thinking I could ever make it on my own.

i ened up in an abusive marriage.  But that lead me to therapy.  The therapy saved my life!  it was like after 30 years the sun had finally come out.  After awhile I relazed how depressed i had been.  I honest to God had not known that I was depressed.  Everyone around me was depressed so it seeemed normal.

What I wanted to say is that I respect and admire you.  You have laready gottn wonderful pratical advice. You seem level headed.  Seek out some support for yourself.  Church, school teacher or counselor, the parents of a friend.  its  a tough world out there, but you'll make it.

Get therapy when you can.  it can be the difference between just exsisting and actually livivng.  I wish you the best the world has to offer.

Good luck.

[backwardsbike]

Hi!

I just found your post and wanted to respond.  I am hoping that you are doing OK.

When I was young, I'm 44 now, my parents were mentally abusive to me.  I didn't see it.  it never occured to me to leave, or rebel in anyway.  What happened was that I lost my sense of individuality.  The abuse casued me to doubt myself tot he point of not thinking I could ever make it on my own.

i ened up in an abusive marriage.  But that lead me to therapy.  The therapy saved my life!  it was like after 30 years the sun had finally come out.  After awhile I relazed how depressed i had been.  I honest to God had not known that I was depressed.  Everyone around me was depressed so it seeemed normal.

What I wanted to say is that I respect and admire you.  You have laready gottn wonderful pratical advice. You seem level headed.  Seek out some support for yourself.  Church, school teacher or counselor, the parents of a friend.  its  a tough world out there, but you'll make it.

Get therapy when you can.  it can be the difference between just exsisting and actually livivng.  I wish you the best the world has to offer.

Good luck.