Soon-to-be-ex threatening to move the kids out of state

[rumplestiltskin]

My spouse and I have just been separated a couple of months and haven't even really gotten the divorce proceedings started. We just had a not-so-friendly meeting and she threatened to move the kids (8 and 11) out of state saying that we're still married and she's allowed to do that. At the same time, she says that she won't go for 50/50 custody because it would disturb their routine too much (she's already kicked me out of the house and pulled them out of their school of 4 and 6 years respectively). Contradictory, I know, but that's how she is. I don't know if moving the kids is an idle threat or not. My kids would be completely devastated. Should I get a TRO just in case? What do I do? She's starting to scare me.

[Waylon]

Should I get a TRO just in case? What do I do? She's starting to scare me.

In a word, YES. 

Read some of the articles returned by this link: Custodial Move-Away Information and Prevention (http://deltabravo.net/cms/search.php?q=move&r=0&s=Search&in=&ex=&ep=&be=&t=all&adv=0)

[Kitty C.]

ABSOLUTELY!  Been there, done that!  Even with an order, it can happen.  My son's BF took off with DS back to CA from IA and, because we had a one paragraph order that stated we had joint custody (long story on how that came about!), there was absolutely nothing that law enforcement could do.  So I called the FBI, since BF was also a Canadian citizen and they said the same thing.  It took me 6 weeks, 3 trips to CA, 2 emerg. hearings and 1 emerg. mediation before I got DS back.  Thank God he went back there and not Manitoba!

The judge was pissed and it really ruined BF's chances at a better custody deal, but the whole ordeal took a severe toll on DS, who was 4 at the time.  He suffered from severe separation anxiety for a long time and refused to sleep by himself for a year and a half.  He is 23 now and, if you asked him today, he would be able to give you many details on what he went through.  Almost 20 years and it still affects him...

[rumplestiltskin]

Thank you for your story, Kitty. That's what I'm SOOO afraid of. My kids would be crushed. I am a very active and involved father and I can feel their sadness when I have to take them back home after only being allowed to spend a few hours with them on her terms. I'm sure they would have severe anxiety/alienation issues if they were to move 700 miles away based solely on her anger and not their needs. She's a good  mom and this just seems so selfish of her and out of character.

[tigger]

out of character.

You'd be surprised what character traits arise to the surface during a separation/divorce.