One Giant Mess: Help for custody?

[wmcbryar]

My name is **** and I'm currently going through a huge mess of a situation with my oldest son, and although I have done plenty of independant research all of the references i have found have done little to narrow things down to an answer that suits my situation (Hence why I am seeking guidance on this forum). There is alot of back story so please bear with me, and even if I cant find the answer im looking for any and all input into my situation is valuable at this point.

  I guess I will start with the basic facts, I am twenty-two with two children by the same woman by the names of A and B, I currently reside in the state of Tennesse. Though the issues concerning Ivan are currently at stand still (for now), Liam is a completely different story. A was born in 2008 out of wedlock with his mother.In the months leading up to his birth his mother ceased contact with me because of pressure from her parents (A's grandparents) and did not inform me of her pregnancy. After his birth i was invited to the hospital and was allowed fifteen minutes with my child before being asked to leave without signing the birth certificate. Over the next year i tried invain to contact and see my child (at the time I wasnt aware i simply needed a paternity test) I never recieved a response. In May of 2009 A's grandfather assumed temporary guardianship of A for the purposes of private insurance by filing a motion in my towns General Sessions Court (my name was still not on the birth certificate at this time) and it has remained this way till present. In September of 2009 my name was finally added to the birth certificate and I was ordered to pay arrerages(sp?) to the mother, as well monthly payments to the grandfather. This being said the following year was not much of an improvement. I was only allowed to see my child very rarely and in alot of cases went months without seeing or hearing from him. This trend continued until in November 2010 the mother and I decided to try and work things out following a tragic event where she was sexually assaulted by her fathers co-worker in her bedroom while my son was present. This was not recieved very well and the mother was kicked out which prompted me to marry her and obtain our own place. Over the following months all contact between us and our child were severed, Neither of us were permitted to see or call him and during this time my son was left for extended periods of time with his uncle(the mothers brother) and even the grandparents of the mothers oldest child,whom she had before I met her, people I have never met in my life. That December the mother became pregnant again and in February 2011 she moved back in with her parents. This continued to remain the same and after the birth of our youngest child in September 2011 things proceeded to grow worse until finally She ceased contact with me entirely until July of this year. In July I finally got a motion put through for visitation with A for every Sunday between 11-7. To my surprise much had changed that I was not informed of. A was diagnosed with autism, and as a special needs child he was enrolled at ***** early learning center in August. But in September of this year I was incarcerated for 180 days for failure to pay child support. During my incarceration I had little contact with my family or friends but the contact I did have shocked and awed me. The grandfather recieved a promotion at his work and moved to Colorado leaving my children and the mother behind with his house. Shortly after which A was enrolled back on Tenncare. Last week I recieved a court date for a purge reduction and was released from Silverdale but not before finding out a few things. For starters nothing has been done to award guardianship back to the mother. Furthermore she is taking government benifits on their behalf, and lastly and quite possibly most importantly the children have been cared for on average 6 out 7 days of the week at my parents house (currently my place of residence) which my disabled mother has recieved no reimbursment for. I have a follow up court date in January to discuss how child support will be handled concerning who gains custody so as you can understand time is of the essence. I will not claim to say I have been the perfect example of a father, I have made multiple mistakes and my children have suffered from my inability to grow up, but over the past year I have grown away from my immaturity and have stepped up to be the man my children need me to be. I am simply tired of watching my children used as a weapon to punish me and my family rather than being cherished as the blessings they are. I am tired of seeing the look of confusion on my sons face when he sees me because of the time lapses between visits and the multitude of guys introduced into his life by his mother. So I guess my real questions for this community are as follows:
1)What are my options on gaining custody of A?
2)What motion should I file to gain custody of A and where should I file them? (e.x. Petition for Guardianship, Petition for Parenting Plan, Motion for Custody Decree etc.)
3)How should I word such documents?
4)What should I expect from the court/trial and how should I prepare for it?
5)Anything else that seems important to this situation or advice on how to proceed from here.

I am in desperate need of help here; I just simply need a push in the right direction and a little guidance so that I can improve my childrens life beyond this petty battlefield they have known so please any and all opinions are appreciated and taken to heart. Thank you.
-Father

[ocean]

What is the last set of paperwork for each child say about your custody/visitation? What court ordered it?
Is the mother living with you and will she fight you having custody?
You would file in the court that ordered the last set of paperwork. If you are looking for custody (live with you full time) then you would fill out the modification of custody paperwork. If you want to increase your time with the child, then you file modification of visitation plan.

Are these kids in school? Will they have to change schools to live with you?

[Kitty C.]

I took the liberty of removing names to maintain anonimity....

[wmcbryar]

The order was granted by The Chancery court but it only concerned my oldest. It Granted the grandfather "temporary guardianship" and all the rights entitled to it. My visitation is every Sunday 11 to 7. The mother no longer lives with me and yes she will fight me to gain custody. And my oldest is enrolled at an early learning center but the mother and I both live in the same area so it shouldnt change anything.

I guess to narrow things down I believe the grandfather has legal custody but as I have mentioned he has moved out of state. My goal is to gain custody of my oldest I am just having trouble figuring out what paperwork to file and what all to include in it.

And thank you I apologize for including that on this forum

[MixedBag]

based on the legal guardian(grandfather) moving,

Look up your state's laws regarding that subject -- and insert grandfather wherever it says custodial parent.

Then....maybe the answer to your situation is to request a change in parenting time etc based on the move.

Here in Alabama, there is a specific set of instructions and timeline you have to follow etc.

Not sure you can gain custody -- that has gone both ways for folks here on this board -- but maybe more parenting time, grandpa pays for transportation, etc.  and jurisdiction is where you live unless you moved away already from the original jurisdiction.

[ocean]

Is CPS still involved with this child?
How long ago did Grandpa leave?
If CPS is involved, call and talk to a supervisor and let them know grandpa is no longer in the house and what are they willing to do.

If not, the two choices, file temporary custody as the child's guardian has left the state. Or file for modification of visitation to increase visitation as you have been following the visitation and want more time with child as the child's guardian has moved.

If mom agrees you can both ask for joint custody and share days/weeks. Is there a reason mom lost custody, does she care for the child now?