Custody Trial started and stopped due to mix up in State Statutes

[ladiva23]

Hello all,

Well its over, but it probably isn't really.  My DH was on the stand for all of 10 minutes back in October, and we've wasted three court dates since then, coming into court each time with documentation with all of her many wrong doings.

I guess the GAL, our lawyer, Judge and the respondent's lawyer didn't really want to go to trial, so they kept coming to us asking if we could work it out with PB.  We of course said "No."  We'd like for the forensic evaluator's report to be brought to light, which states that PB lied about almost everything and that she encouraged the children to lie about the sexual allegations.  The report also recommends full custody be awarded to both my DH and I.

THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Someone had a light bulb go off in their head and said that we couldn't proceed with the custody trial because a final order of custody was ordered in July 2009, and when we filed the petition in December of 2010, it had not been more than two years since the order was signed (it was at 1 year and 5 months that we filed the petition)  All the lawyers said unless there had been an arrest on the bio-mom, an ACS case with the bio-mom or drugs involved, 'no judge in their right mind would reverse an order of custody" based on what we had.

On a good note, we now see the kids every week and every 2nd, 3rd and 4th weekend even though it's only a 65% vs 35% split, where before he only saw the children 13% of the time (Yes fathers who don't press the issue of seeing your children more than every other weekend, you pay an astronomical amount of child support, and only see your children 13 or 14 % of the time that their mom does.  This is what you have been reduced to if you don't fight for them!)

I cry everytime I hear the decision repeated in my head.  I wish I had've know what I know now.  Our lawyer said a big part of the judge not wanting to see all of the evidence is because it was backwards.  For all of the crazy things she did, we should have taken it to court and filed a violation of a custody order on her right there and then when the events happened.  (1) When she moved for four months and refused to tell us.  (2) When she forgot the oldest one on the school bus, didn't pick her up for four hours, then filed a police report against me and DH for "kidnapping her". 

What hurts the most is that she, according to the abrupt disappearance of our petition for full custody, is giving a slap on the wrist and everyone assumes "Well, that's what a mother is supposed to do if her child tells her that."  A year of my life.  A year of these kid's lives.  Many years of undoing the damage that a vaginal examination and direct questioning about any kind of "contact" with their dad, will have on a 5 and 1/2 year old and 8 and 1/2 year old.

This is very sad.  I feel defeated in some way.  I want this to stop, but I know she will not stop.

[sunlitbeauty]

How did this all turn out?
I am a father who lives in BC who has been falsely accused of sexual abuse of my now 9 year old daughter who lives with my mother.
I am a retired veteran of the Canadian Forces who lives on a limited pension.
I support my wife and three children (excluding my 9 year old daughter), aged 6yrs, 3yrs and 1 yrs old.
I do not have money due to my limited income for the services of an attorney, and my mother is denying access to my daughter at present.
Are there any advocates in Canada that could help me with this situation?
I do not believe that it is in the best interests of my daughter to not be able to see me.
This is not the first time that my mom has disobeyed a court order, and denied access.
It is my hope that there might be an advocate out there that could help me with this delicate situation.
The incident was submitted to protective services (Called The Ministry of Children and Families up here in Canada), and it was immediately dismissed by them. There was never an order, nor an investigation. This would probably be due to the fact that nothing has ever occurred of this nature between myself and my daughter. As I stated, I have three other children that I live with with my wife of 7 years. My other daughter would never say anything of this nature about me, as I am a very loving father and I have never abused my children. I have abused myself in doing back breaking work in order to support my family (12 hours shifts doing concrete hi-rise forming, ie. building towers) out of love for my kids to be able to have a good life, and to have the things that they need. I joined the military after the recession back in 2008 destroyed any chance I had of employment as a Journeyman Carpenter. I was injured while serving in the Canadian Forces, and I now live on a very limited income to support my wife and four children with. This issue came up around Christmas, and my oldest daughter has not received her presents to this date, and I am afraid to the amount of brainwashing that my mother (her grandmother) is subjecting her to.
I am afraid that if this is allowed to go too far, that my other three kids may lose access to me, their loving father. I have read about cases where the judge has decided to remove access in family court even when no clear evidence of a sexual offence is present. I served my country, had my livelihood taken away from me due to the severe nature of my injury(chronic pain in my lower back and left leg, which is partially paralyzed, plus three compressed discs from my military service), and now I am having the one thing threatened that I value more than anything else...access to my children, and their right to have their father, a true family man, taken away from them!