Child Custody/Parental odd behavior

[Alton]

Please thoughts on possible reasons for when Ex husband turns off every light in his house when I come to pick up children for my parenting time?
Also, why do you think my Ex insists our children take showers before he picks them up for his parenting time?

Also, why would he have our daughter's hair cut 3 times during his parenting time when she doesn't really want it cut (she's 12 years old)?

Also, do you think it's right that I still haven't been introduced to his wife who is caring for our children half of their lives?

Also, what do you think of not being told that he got married until a day after the fact, and involved our children, and his family,  in keeping it a secret along?

[Waylon]

Please thoughts on possible reasons for when Ex husband turns off every light in his house when I come to pick up children for my parenting time?

Maybe he doesn't want you peering in his windows and spying on him? Maybe the kids are taught to turn out the lights when they leave a room? And honestly, why does this matter to you?

Also, why do you think my Ex insists our children take showers before he picks them up for his parenting time?

Maybe he's not satisfied with the level of hygiene that you're providing and he wants the children to be clean and presentable.

Also, why would he have our daughter's hair cut 3 times during his parenting time when she doesn't really want it cut (she's 12 years old)?

There could be a million reasons for this. Maybe he knows it bugs you.

Also, do you think it's right that I still haven't been introduced to his wife who is caring for our children half of their lives?

Yes, I think it's right, and I'll tell you why. You have no "right" to be introduced to his new wife. Period. You just don't. You have no say in his marriage, so mind your own business, okay?

In other words, it's possible that the reason he doesn't want to introduce you may have something to do with your behavior.

If the situation was reversed you'd be complaining that your ex husband has no business wanting to be introduced to your new husband, he's meddling, controlling, interfering, etc etc etc.

In a perfect world, yes, he'd introduce you. But in a perfect world you two would still be married.

Also, what do you think of not being told that he got married until a day after the fact, and involved our children, and his family,  in keeping it a secret along?

I kept my remarriage secret from my ex for 6 months after the fact.    And yes, my son who was 14 at the time totally understood and agreed to not mention it.  That's because it was none of her business.
My ex was super insecure and was just itching to try to find a way to cause trouble. In fact, to be perfectly honest, you sound a lot like her. Technically speaking, you have no right whatsoever to meet her or even know her name if they don't want you to.

I'll be blunt: You sound like a very, very controlling person who is upset because you aren't getting what you want. And none of what you've mentioned has any bearing on anything. No judge would have the slightest in your concerns about this stuff.