Father demanding makeup time

[FrustratedinWA]

I am separated from  my husband and the mother of twin boys.  As part of our parenting agreement, the father needs to be in compliance with a domestic violence program or he cannot see the kids unsupervised. 

In January, he dropped out of the program and was therefore noncompliant.  As a result, my attorney and I suspended visits unless they were supervised.  He missed about 55 hours of visitation and now wants to make it up.

If he had cancelled due to illness, etc., makeup time would be reasonable.  However, his cancellation was due to his own issues - not mine...and it is clearly stated in the parenting plan.

Am I wrong to say I don't agree with his wanting makeup time?

[ocean]

I agree with you. He missed due to him not finishing the mandatory class. It sounds like you are still going to court and divorce so this will be addressed in the next round of hearings. Since he finished the classes, he will eventually be given more and more time until it is the standard for your area or you both come up to a mutual agreement. Pick you battles, maybe not agree to "make-up" time but offer one dinner visit a week instead, gives you a night "off" and gives him more time.  Not sure how old the kids are but you do not want to be in court the next xx years. It is never one time in court to settle anything. Try to co-parent, through email, online calendar, text. You have proof of what is said and you do not have to talk to him. Good luck.

[Waylon]

Am I wrong to say I don't agree with his wanting makeup time?

Why not agree to make up some or all of it? The parenting time is for the benefit of the children as well as the non-custodial parent. Even though it's his fault the time got missed, it seems wrong to shortchange the children for his behavior.

Also, reaching out a bit and doing this might help build a little good will and common ground between the two of you. He'll owe you one, so maybe this will allow you two to get along a little bit easier.

[DadsCrushed]

You and your attorney cannot unilaterally decide to preclude visitatio because he failed to take the class. You have rules for that and that would be to file a petition for contempt. Actually, you act may be contemtuous.

[ocean]

Depends on the wording of the order. If it stated dad must finish classes in order to get xyz...then she could.