50/50 custody

[bobby]

Hello, first I want to thank all those are involved in helping us.   
been divorced for about been divorced for about 5 years in los angeles. ex wife drags me back to court/mediation and makes up some stuff trying to change the 50/50 custody, holiday, schedule, etc... I have been very stressed , tired and patient. I have great relationship with my two daughters, 11 yo, and 7 yo. now ex took me back last week trying to make up lies that  she claims girls are telling her to take away my 50 % visitation. I am worried, stressed, and love my girls. i live few miles away so that i continue to see them reguraly.
ex wife and I are both teachers and schedule works great with girls.
do i need a lawyer? don't have money...  please help

[Waylon]

do i need a lawyer? don't have money...  please help

The answer to this is almost always "yes". Whether or not it's something you can afford is another story.

Generally it takes a lot to change the terms of a custody arrangement. It often goes by whether or not there is what's called a "substantial change in circumstances (http://deltabravo.net/cms/plugins/content/content.php?content.178)" or not.

Judges usually don't want to make changes just for the heck of it, but in truth you never know what a judge will do.

This link might also have some useful information: changing custody (http://deltabravo.net/cms/search.php?q=change+custody&r=0&s=Search&in=&ex=&ep=&be=&t=all&adv=0)

[bobby]

thank you, does she have grounds or valid reason to make the judge change the custody?

[ocean]

Girls are too young to decide. She would need to prove why you should no longer have 50/50. Take pics of visits, casual pics, date them. Cute videos would work too. You may not be able to show them in court but you can show them to therapists and law guardians if it comes to that.

Why is she saying things should change? What do the girls say to you? Try not to get them in middle. Is she looking to get more custody to change child support? It is about money?

You can represent yourself at first hearing and see what is up. Does she have a lawyer? You can always say you want to hire a lawyer at any time. If she has a lawyer then you deal with lawyer and not her. Sometimes that is good as lawyers do not have the personal connection and usually have some common sense. Do not allow any lawyer to persuade you into signing anything in the hallway or forced agreement. You can always go to the judge for a decision. Lawyer and mom will try to get under your skin. Hold your cool , focus on girls only.

Keep focus on girls Keep saying "I want to continue to be a big part of my girls life. It has worked for the past xx years. Girls are doing great in school and have friends/activities, Girls should have both parents in their life".

You can try an email to your ex:
"Received the court papers and not sure where this is coming from. Girls have a great relationship with both of us and doing good in school. I'd rather us work this out, then spending money/time in court, rather than money/time being spent with girls. As the girls get older, we will need to be flexible and get along. If you need to switch a day with me, let me know in advance with make up time and we will try to make it work. Let me know the issues are, rather we, as the parents, decide then a judge and we both do not like the outcome. "

[MixedBag]

Do a little bit of research and find your state's calculator on line to see IF time with the children figures into the forumula.  THAT usually reveals a motive on the other parent's part.

[bobby]

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR INPUTS FRIENDS , i APPRECIATE IT.
SO FAR THERE IS NO CHILD SUPPORT SINCE WE HAVE 50/50.