Getting your kids ready for this world.... Help

[superdad01]

I'm wondering how to  deal with this guys. How to you guys address to your kids that this world is not full of bubble gum and smiley faces?

I am having a really hard time putting my words together to describe this. But we all know how this world treats those that are not up to society's standards. I don't want my child be one that people look down upon, for looks or whatever percieved negative issues are big at the time.

Like I said in previous topics, our child is overweight and really has no interest in getting herself into a better position. She is shy and has not really gotten into anything besides watching movies etc. I feel bad because some of the friends she does have is children from friends of mine and they are running all over the place and my child has a hard time keeping up. I feel like it's the gigantic elephant in the room and nobody can say anything about it. We had a big party and numerous kids are out running around and she is content sitting on the couch. When I tell her to get out there and play she says I can't keep up with them. Breaks my heart because I always tell this kid she can do whatever she wants in life if she tries.

Perhaps I have made mistakes in my attempts to help the child but I just don't know how to make this work for the child's benefit. Especially when it seems I am the only party interested in doing something about it.

One conversation we had regarding getting in better shape and I make it a point to make her realize how people are going to treat her differently based on her appearance etc. The child does not easily pick up on sarcasm and her take on it was so fat people don't get jobs etc. No that's not what I'm saying. Im saying not everyone is going to be nice to you and treat you special.

I just want to get this child in a better place to be ready for this world.

[superdad01]

One thought we had is perhaps the mother has some sort of psychological issue (can't think of the name I heard) but basically mother wants the child to need her. The child don't need friends because she has mom. I'm sure I could word this better but it centers around child always being attached to mom. Child's world centers around mom. Mom acts like childs best friend instead of parent.

[ocean]

I would tell child that you are going to take her to dr and see if dr can help. Tell her "go and play with kids, when you get tired, come in for a bit but then back outside". Has she had a total medical check-up? Thyroid tests?  There are doctors who are open on Saturdays- or a walk-in type place does blood work and can be her dr when she is with you. Many kids now do not like outside or prefer to be with the tv/video games. Limit the inside time when she is with you.

Can you sign  her up or do something on the weekends you have her? Maybe find someone in a gym that can help her or someone that has been there and lost some weight. Is there after school activities she can try to do right at school? Talk to the gym teacher and she can encourage her to do play in school and maybe she can make a time her whole class runs a few circles at the beginning of class.

I think I remember you asking about court ordered nutritionist ...mom is not cooperating. Talk to her school nurse...if she is really overweight they can get social services involved on medical neglect.