documenting

[rosegdrose]

I have a question ya'll. How does documenting events, behavior and occurences help in the custody trial? Does the judge really take that info into consideration? Thanks.

[mistoffolees]

Depends on what you mean by 'documenting'.

The more you're able to prove, the better your chances. It's that simple.

[Tennessee Dad]

>I have a question ya'll. How does documenting events,
>behavior and occurences help in the custody trial? Does the
>judge really take that info into consideration? Thanks.

A resounding YES!  Not that the Judge reads all your documentation, but YOU have the answers the other party probably won't.  And that really puts you in a position to WIN!

Example, in my case, BM didn't make ANY of the school functions for our child, while I and/or my wife made them all.  Our documentation, backed up with testimony of the teacher and others in the family, showed who was actually involved in our daughter's school life.  BM's constant last-minute changes in scheduled time with child, and all her silly excuses, did not go unnoticed either.  Using our notes, we created a spreadsheet for our attorney to use while questioning BM in court; we had the answers, BM did not!

We use the time-tracker on this site, as well as calendars and pages and pages of notes.  We had a total of three years of overnights, plus detailed notes for almost a year before it was done.  When we brought our the time-tracker printout's, BM's attorney even asked where we found it; my wife told him we would let him know about the site (after our court case was over, of course).  

So documentation can really make or break your case, JMHO.  It can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be.  My wife keeps our notes, and probably went for over-kill, but that's ok; it worked.  I have had custody of our 9yo daughter for over 2 years now.  BM keeps trying to rock the boat, but thus far has not had any success.  BTW, we still keep time-tracker going, just in case.  

Best to you!

[Crockpot]

I came here looking for just this topic!  Question though, if your wife keeps the notes does it matter to the judge that she may have gotten information from you?  

For example if BM was late for a drop off and we note it, does it have to be noted by the person who waited for BM to show?  

Does this make sense?!  

Thanks.

[mistoffolees]

If I understand you correctly, that's not going to be useful because it would be hearsay. Granted, there are some exceptions to the hearsay rule, but it's better for the person who witnessed the behavior to be the one who keeps notes.

[Crockpot]

Yup, that's what I meant and what I was thought too.

Thanks.

[Tennessee Dad]

Well, don't know about you guys, or maybe we were extremely lucky, but the Judge accepted our time records.  He was well aware that my wife kept the records, and had HER testify to their accuracy "to the best of her knowledge".  Face it, she knew as well as I did whether daughter spent the night at our house ot not.  And, those records were the only ones we entered as evidence.  In fact, the Judge chuckled that BM's attorney tried to make a case that my wife "created" the records to try to take daughter away from her Mom.  In fact, the attorney kept asking that same question, and the Judge told her "you know what her answer is".  The Judge looked at my wife, she replied "NO, your honor, I did not MAKE UP those records just for court".  My wife offered to provide her calendars and other notes for the court, but the Judge didn't think it was necessary.  See, we also had witnesses testifying about the amount of time we had daughter.  

All the other notes were cleared marked "for OUR ATTORNEY only" and were used only for that purpose, so she would have information during her examination of BM.  

It worked well for us; my wife is a note taker, I am not.  And we felt like her notes were better than no notes.  The Judge was aware of that, and accepted it.  

Good luck to you all!

[Tennessee Dad]

I realize it is better for the "party" involved to keep the records, but sometimes (in my case) that ain't gonna' happen.  And anything is better than nothing.

Keep documenting . . . . .