refusing to settle

[wildcherry57]

My brother was only married 8 months to a noncitizen who is desperate to stay in the US.  Their baby is 4 months old now and they have shared custody while waiting for the trial in May.  The wife has accused him of physical and sexual abuse of the wife, and complains that the baby has medical problems when he returns the baby to her.  He has offered her $50,000 to get out of his life but she refuses.  She refuses all reasonable offers and seems set on getting every dime and asset he owns.  Today the  judge ordered him to pay the wife's atty $10,000 by the end of the month, and said that brother stands to lose his $150,000 in savings to legal fees  if they do not settle.  (The wife was supposed to be deported as soon as the trial is over in May, but may now stay until the abuse charges are investigated - maybe 10 more months, which is another problem entirely)   What recourse does he have if she refuses all offers?

[Peanutsdad]

So far as I know,,, absolutely none.

I dont think there is any way to impose penalties if she refuses to settle.

[Kent]

Having been in a somewhat similar situation, I feel a little torn in my reaction.

I firmly believe that equally shared physical custody (like on a week-to-week basis) is in the best interest of any child UNDER THE CONDITION that both parents cooperate in a friendly manner, AND live very close to each other.

Just from your feelings I understand you want her deported as soon as possible. I carried the same feelings, but never followed through on them.

As long as she is a witness in a criminal investigation she will not be deported. Keep in mind however; IF she ends up with custody, and then gets deported, your child is gone too.

[wildcherry57]

I truly appreciate your advice.  Unfortunately, this woman is evil and hateful beyond belief.  She spews venom every time they exchange the baby - they do it at Starbucks so there will be witnesses in case she does anything  crazy. It has gotten to the point where my brother honestly believes she is going to have him killed, even though he has never done anything to cause her or the baby harm.  If the woman was even close to normal he would have stayed married for the sake of the child, but she was impossible to live with and we all believe that she is a danger to the child.  However, of course that is difficult to prove.  I can't believe she can prolong this by making accusations, then he has to pay her legal fees.  
Thanks for listening.

[Kent]

Go ahead and do the exchange at a lonely place without any witnesses - except for yourself and someone else, both hidden with a camcorder with a sensitive microphone.

When she feels secure nobody's watching and/or listening, she will show her true self, and you will have it all on tape. Especially physical assault caught on tape works wonders. Make sure he doesn't defend himself, but just runs away after the 2nd wave of attack.

Your attorney will have a ball with the tapes. Insist he asks for an expedited hearing on the criminal charges, with the tape in hand.

If he can go through it, get tapes from at least 2 of such events, that show unprovoked violence on her behalf, and she will be deported soon. Felony convictions make it impossible to obtain visa's and/or greencards, even through marriage!

Kent!

[joni]

but hire a PI to tape and witness the entire event.  The cost for a day wouldn't be bad.

[MYSONSDAD]

Having the PI's do it, is excellent. They are State licensed witnesses. They would also have the equipment neccessary to get the job done right the first time. And having them there, would offer you some protection.

It was the best money I ever spent.

"Children learn what they live"

[wildcherry57]

Was your wife physically violent?  This lady has not been physical, just verbal.  Last time she said she was going to move to San Diego and get the baby a new father.  
She was a suspect in the murder of a boyfriend in Czech, but never arrested.  We think she had him shot.  She is very good at breaking laws and not getting caught.

[MYSONSDAD]

My ex is very aggressive. Very mouthy. Gets right in your face with her arms flying. She does this crap in front of my son. Bad mouths me every step of the way. You would think the courts would be concerned for the child. But she put a Restraining Order on me, based on lies. The courts won't listen, even with proof. She does not care who she hurts or what she says.

Her family is also aggressive and willing to lie.

Get the PI. This will also help protect you.