Parent Seeks Funding via Indiegogo to Provide Justice to His Kids.

[crowdfundbuzz]

This campaign is about providing justice to my son and daughter. The funding requirement for this campaign is $30,000.

Somewhere, Arizona

The Father is a single father engaged in a tiresome legal battle to protect his kids. Since the last one year, his kids  have been in their mother's custody for five days a week. Unfortunately, the father has very little trust in the Arizona legal system that appears to be extremely partial towards the mothers. The mother of these two kids has repeatedly proven the fact that she is not capable of being their primary care. However, the legal system has not taken any corrective action.

In numerous instances, the kids have been ignored and neglected by their mother. Recently, she left them unattended at the playground when the neighbors called the police. The father believes that his children are in danger of physical and mental damage in her care. Though the father pays for it, this lady refuses to take the kids to family therapy sessions. In numerous instances, she has been extremely careless about the medical requirements of the kids. Also, this lady is closely associated with people with questionable lifestyle and credentials. This has already had a negative impact on the kids.

An apparently frustrated the father says, "I'm told that Arizona is one of the hardest states for a father to get custody of children in. I have created massive debt trying to fight for my kids with no real end in sight I could have put the kids through college for the amount of money I have spent in this. I have drained any saving I may have had and gone into massive debt. I have taken out cash advances out on several credit cards and borrowed money from my father who lives on social security to fight this battle."

Though he cannot continue this fight anymore, but the father cannot even give up on his children. Now, he is looking for funding support to ensure that his kids grow up to be responsible and decent adults. With this intention, he has just started an Indiegogo campaign. This campaign's funding target is $30,000.

Please make a contribution to this campaign.

[MixedBag]

It is NOT smart to post public names etc....as the other side can now google it, find it, print it, and bring it to court.

So I will do my best to remove names.

I just want the original poster to know why it was amended.

BTW -- in really reading the post -- that's "nothing new" around here.....HONESTLY -- tell the father to come here, make a really fake screen name, and post his issues here.

We are not attorneys, but we have been through this journey or are going through the journey and can give guidance.

Sounds to me like -- dad hasn't learned to pick and choose his battles with the court system wisely yet.

Like how old are his children?  he mentions unsupervised to the playground....well, how old are the children?  Are they mature?  How far is the playground?  How safe is the neighborhood?  (Can you tell I've let the grands go to the park because it's ok?)



NOT smart.

[honeybadger]

The daughter is 3 and the son is 7. I am new to all this divorce stuff but I figured that the courts would make her play by the rules just like I have to.  I was wrong.

[MixedBag]

eventually, I believe they will -- BUT some of the expected rules really aren't important enough to be taken to court to complain over.

That's where you have to learn to pick and choose your battles OR figure an alternative route that will pay attention and handle it.

Post individual issues here.....and there's folks here who will try to help.

For example, my EX#2 would write letters that included cuss words and derogatory statements towards me -- and I handed the court way too many examples as evidence that he continued to be verbally abusive towards me.  Guess what?  During round one and two, the judge didn't care.  But in round three, EX#2 wrote a letter and said some stuff the judge DID care about -- it was focused on threatening to do something with our son -- and then the pendulum really started swinging in another direction.  I had to learn to read past the abusive threatening language because the judge didn't CARE.

[honeybadger]

I can post all the issues I have with the ex but I don't want it to sound as if I'm just here to bash her. It's about the kids for me. that's all I care about. all the things she does some of them big things in my opinion doesn't seem to matter to the courts. I kinda get it but it's very irritating that I cannot break even the slightest rule without repercussions.

[ocean]

Document everything but most things do not even go before a judge. Like MB said, pick and choose which battles. As the kids get older, you can deal with teachers, coaches, and doctors directly. Police reports, school records, and cps open cases go far in court.

Where are you now? What is happening with the last police report? Did they charge mom with leaving them in the park?
Be involved with their schools as much as possible. Volunteer for school activities and offer to help the PTA group at your child's school. Offer to have the kids more often (and in writing for proof).

It is uphill battle when the ex fights you every step. Ignore and do not engage with ex.

[honeybadger]

Its hard for me to be as involved as I would like to be. I'm up at 4am for work and usually home around 3:30-4 pm. I can take off work early if I need to but because the kids are with her during the week I get very little info about school. I haven't spoken a word to her in about 5 weeks. It always turns into being about her. I try to steer the conversation back to being about the kids. It usually end with her getting mad and then refusing to speak to me.
The neglect police report and a letter from her apartment complex got me emergency custody for 3 days at which point the judge ga e them right back to her. Police reports involving child neglect automaticly go to Cps. They interviewed both of us and did nothing.

[MixedBag]

Ha!  I just noticed the name change from the original post -- so WELCOME!

HERE at this site -- it's not considered bashing -- it's considered telling the WHOLE story and then let us help figure out what's important.....and maybe another avenue to get around the parent who doesn't want to cooperate.

I'm also wondering if you'd be helped by googling "How to deal with a Narcisisst" and if those articles will feel familiar to you.  I never knew the term during my turbulent years, only afterwards and boy did the ring a bell.

Also -- get a copy of Divorce Poison over at Amazon or Ebay.....OMG -- when I read that book, I swear we were interviewed.

[ocean]

Go to the school yourself, give them your email and ask if the teacher does email. Get on their mailing list for important papers and ask the teacher if she will make a folder of all papers that go home to mom and you either provide envelopes with stamps or go pick it up once a week. Usually most schools have online grading/websites. Get a password so you can see your child's attendance and grades. If not, ask to be sent the report card. You can also get a copy of everything in the perm record file. At the beginning of the year, there is usually meet the teacher night, during year- concerts, end of year- field day, graduations. Find out things the parents are invited to and go. Talk to the teacher about coming in one day to help in classroom or at function (book fair). You do not need ex for this as you are her father and can be at school and by law have access to her records.

It will take time and more police reports to get a change in custody with CPS. Keep documented. Do not talk to ex, switch to text or email. Do not answer unless it is a necessary (most do not need a response or just a one word response). Make your dealings with ex business like.

Enjoy the time with kids when you have them. Deal with things that come up when they come up and try to enjoy the rest of your life. You can not make this a 24/7 week thing or it will make you crazy.

[MixedBag]

About the school....

Are they on-line?

Once a year, you gotta go and introduce yourself to the teachers and give them envelopes that are preaddressed and prestamped and maybe the teacher will include you in anything she hands to the kids.

HONESTLY?  if you gotta get up at4 am....how would that work with the kids?  (get a plan B in place).

I drove 12 hours for years (age 3-14) to go see my son and his school knew me better than his own dad and fake-wife.....because it was important to me.