Husbands custody fight for his son

[teacher_armyfamily]

Hello all,
I am married to a man who has a three year old son. He did not know the child was his until the son was 13 months old. He thought when the girl got pregnant it might be his but she refused to take a paternity test and claims to have said that she would have had an abortion if the child was his. When she became pregnant she was married to another man and never told my husband. My husband was deployed and started getting emails from her saying she thought the kid might be his. When he got back she came to see him (across the country) without the child. They both drove back to her home state and had a paternity test done. She agreed to come move in with my husband so they could be a family. They have the sons last name changed and a child support/shared custody document drawn up. This was in 2006. She left my husband and moved back to her home state taking the child after about four months of living together. She said she had to live in her home state for 6 months before she could get a divorce, even though she wasn't married there. She then bled my husband dry with claims of not having a place to live or a job or food for their son. He of course sent her rent money and money for food etc. After she left him in about May of 2006 he saw his son that Christmas. Then did not see him again for a year and a half although he had made attempts to visit him. He went this past Christmas to see him and she had known since september that he was coming. She said she was going out of town and not to bother. She also would not provide my husband with her address so that he could know where his child was living. He was paying child support and still is for as long as he has  known the child was his. He calls to talk to him and find out information about his life and she will say things like she fed him to the dogs down the street. She is almost at the poverty level for income. She has the son calling her new BF daddy. My husband knows that the new BF had his licence removed for some time. They move frequently and she makes no effort to notify my husband.

Recently that had a mediation where she was asking him to pay for all costs associated with coming to visit him with his son, yet he would not have the same when he came to her home state. Now he has to pay her 100$ a day when she brings him to visit us. Also his family has never met their nephew and grandson and they are trying to set up a visitation this christmas but only if her work lets her off ( shes a waitress) if not then  she doesn't have to bring him down.

My husband has been and will continue to pay child support, try to talk to his son, pay his medical and dental and send gifts qhen appropriate. Part of the problem for my husband is that he is in the army and gets limited time off. However in their agreement he has to notfiy her 45 days before an intended visit and it can be no longer then three days.

My question is what chance would be have for going for full custody? If we waited a  year or two? This mediation document is only valid until 2010.

Thanks in advance!

[ocean]

Honestly, you will not get full custody unless the BM does something outrages. You can go get the mediation document modified. You could change it to when you are in her home state, you will give her 48 hour notice due to your husbands job. When child is school age you can get a lot of info from them and make visits around what is going on at school.
Good luck!