What are our rights?

[allisonfamily]

In your honest opinion, what are we going to have to do here? I mean, does anyone have a guess as to what all we're going to have to go through to establish visitation?
My husband is concerned that with his extended abscence from his daughter's life, the courts will not grant him visits. I think it'll take a lot of work and time, not to mention adjustment, but that in the end we'll be allowed to know her.
Also, another concern for my husband is how his daughter will feel about him after all this time. Any suggestions about how to make this easier on this little girl?
Thanks

[smtotwo]

DH's ex also disappeared with his 2 boys.  She moved several states  away and though we knew what state she was in we couldn't locate her.  She kept moving and changing #'s.   Eventually she returned here and a mutual friend gave us her info. While you maynot get so lucky, this is where we started,

We filed for regular, meaningful periods of physical placement.  We petitioned for supervised visits for a period of 6 months so that DH and his boys could get reaquainted.  

After 6 months of supervised, we requested eow and 1/2 of holidays and 1 full week each month of the summer.

Because our concern was how they would feel, the court looked at supervised, at our request as a BIG PLUS!!

Your county, or the county where the divorce took place may still have jurisdiction.  DH's did.  She could have changed it to Colorado when she moved there but she didn't...WOOHOO for us, that would have caused a problem.

So, check state law to see where jurisdiction is, then file in that county.

And ask for things like Co-Parenting classes, not just for DH but for both so that they learn to parent TOGETHER.  Probably won't work and hopefully she won't go.  That makes you look like your trying and she's not.  If you have any other questions feel free to e-mail at

[email protected]

This was a pretty big battle for us but we made it.  So far its been a yr of unsupervised and ex is cooperative most of the time.

[norma]

Was your husband married to this woman? If so, is there a divorce decree that outlines visitation? If so, you can file a violation petition against her in family court. Please give more details about the case.

[Peanutsdad]

smtotwo has given you the best advise here. As far as your DH's fear about not getting visits,, no worries unless theres cause not to have them. Extended denial of visitaition isnt cause,, its cause for a adjustment period of supervised,, nothing more.

[allisonfamily]

No, they were never married. Fresh out of high school. And he knew nothing about the court system and the things he needed to do to protect himself.
They lived together for a year in Pittsburgh, then they split and he moved 4 hours away, but still visited every other wknd. The bm took a 2 wk trip to SC, leaving their daughter with him. Her 2 wks turned into 1 1/2 mos, and he lost his job due to the inability to find child care. When the mother returned, she took the child back to pittsburgh. My husband was able to visit one more time. According to him, during that visit, the bm asked to rekindle the relationship and he declined. The bm then moved, left no forwarding address. Their daughter was 2 1/2. She will be 9 in March.

[gipsy]

In wash state there is a basic process !
  Usually it is to Get a Guardian ad Litem on board and this person talks to every one and then rerports to the judge ,
  Due to the fact that he hasn't seen his kids for so long he will have to go through the process the court lays out , I had to go to parenting class and it was at a community college for much less , But you will have to jump the hoops . If you don't they will do nothing for you , I would just mark it up on the court calender and ask the judge if you can take a cheaper class , AFTER you go find one and can present it to the judge , In my case there was no order for a 800$ class . I also had tp pay for supervised visits .
  I don't know what state you are in but I have never heard of a court with holding contact over child support

[norma]

Where does he send the support check to? Obviously someone knows where she is. A petition can be filed for visitation but should be filed in the state (or county of the state) where the BM and child reside. That is, if your husband wants to have a relationship with the child.