Visitation Denials

[Troy]

I am new to this board, I just stumbled across it tonight. I am having big problems with my ex-wife denying visitation. She and my daughter live in Kansas City, Missouri and I live in Florida. I have seen my daughter only 4 times in the last five years and it has come to a point where I need to find help. As a father, I feel I have no rights when it comes to these issues. If I don't pay child support, all she has to do is contact the support enforcement agency (for free)and they do the rest. If I am costantly denied visitation, who do I call? (If possible at a low cost) The only visitation I have ever received was paid for in cash. Meaning.....my ex requires me to send her cash and pre-pay for plane tickets in order for me to see my child. Last summer I had to send her $500. This is nowhere near the decree agreement which states I pay 50% of transportation and receive 8 weeks of visitation. My ex is constantly discouraging the relationship between my daughter and I and I am now "fed up." I need some advice on where to start, who to talk to, and where to find willing individuals to help.
Another problem with my situation is this: I am currently ordered to pay $408 per month. That was originally assigned to me by a Missouri judge while I was on active duty in the Air Force. Because of college (this past semester I received my AA) and a rough start in my new business after the USAF, I an now in arrears a bit over $10,000. I have in the last five years sent an average of $260 per month and it should have been $408. Since Feb of last year, I have been under contract with the Florida CSE to pay $450 per month to help pay arrears...I have been paying regularly since and have kept in close contact with my CSE rep. Because of my arrears, my ex-wife feels the need to punish me even further by denying my daughter and myself a relationship. What can I do about this??? Prior to finding this site, I read about sending letters of intent to exercise visitation to her and the courthouse. This way, I could establish a record of her denials, but how long will this have to last before something can be done? Will I have to prove this for a couple of summers? My daughter willl be 11 yrs old before I see her again.

Anyway...sorry for the long read but I am seriously in need of guidance.

I would be grateful for any info regarding my situation

Troy

[email protected]

[Peanutsdad]

Ok, here are a few links to get started. Others I hope will post links to denial of visitation letters.  You HAVE to generate a police report EACH time you are denied, AND file contempt in court when it happens. There are folks here can show you how to do this pro se if you ABSOLUTELY cant afford an attrny,, BUT I strongly urge you to get one at leasst at first.

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm

[patton]

If you paid your ex cash, I hope you have some documentation to back up this claim.
1.   You need to show where you withdrew the cash (your bank account).
2.   You needed to write her a letter explaining what the cash was for
3.   Get the post office to copy your letter with copies of the cash and a copy also on the letter of the registered return receipt certified.
4.   Then you get back the green card showing she signed for this letter and the cash.

If she is NOT going by the agreed visitation she is in violation of every time she denies you. Each visitation would be a separate violation. I had six the last time I was in court over a two year period, so yes you can go back.  Mine were mostly a pattern around holiday times.

Being in arrears is NOT going to help you case at all, but since you've continually paid over the last five years and show good faith in catching up hopefully a Judge will see this.

Child support and visitation are two separate issues.

What proof do you have that you have not seen your daughter on your visitation time?

Do you have witnesses that will vouch for you that you have not had her?

Do you have emails from the ex stating that you are not getting her?

Do you have any written letters discussing this?

You need to look up recording laws for your state or whatever state the case will be in and see if two party taping is permitted.

This is a great site for information and other's will probably add to what I've told you.

Link to denial of visitation letter:

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

[MixedBag]

And there isn't much more to add.

You can file contempt after ONE denial -- particularly if it's long distance and not a close distance situation.

That's what DH does....

[Troy]

Thank you all so far.  I got home late tonight and will check things out more closely tomorrow....I will defintely be asking questions.  I truly appreciate any help whatsoever.

Troy

[Belle]

Sounds like our situation (except no arrears) first ask for visits at every school scheduled break. Use intent letters,  and denial letters. If your decree says nothing about transportation you are doing good for her to pay 1/2.
Make regular phone calls (or email visits) we have two nights a week to use as regular contact. (record it in a journal if you use calling cards)
How much visitation time does your decree say? If it say's reasonable visitation that can mean about anything. (especially to CP) Does your decree have a Parenting Plan? If not look up the one on this site and make some changes to suit your needs and send it to her as a proposal, look up your childs school holiday breaks and start asking for every break she has. ( ask for every 3 or 4 day weekend, alternate thanksgiving, 1/2 christmas break alternate weeks so you can have some christmas holidays and new year, 1/2 spring break, 6 weeks in summer)
We have not had to go to court about our denials, since using this site we have increased our visits from 2 - 4 week in summer to almost all the above. She keeps trying to deny visits makes crazy demands and caves at the last second. You need this paper trail so do it every time you plan a visit, even if you know she will deny it. But have cash on hand incase she does say yes.
You have the right to purchase airline tickets yourself if nothing is in decree. Just make sure she agrees on "dates" leave out times  (southwest lets you exchange tickets in for credit if you call before departure however un minor ends at 12 years. Only purchase one way tickets. She can make demands unless in decree. thats the law!!! Let her know. Also put a block on your flight so cp can't cancel it.
we added a line to Intent to visit to seek voluntary mediation if visitaion problems could not be settled. (some will do it by phone)
Good luck