Visitation out of state and custodial parent military

[forjordan]

Wondering if anyone has any suggestions.  I am the step-mom of an 11 year old boy.  My husband and I are in AL and he is in WA.  We struggle with the lack of visitation as it is but understand due to distance.  
The problem we are facing is that we already have to pay child support while he is with us for a month in the summer (that's all she'll give us even though we should get at least six weeks), pay for daycare, travel expenses and of course the food and fun for the short time we get to see him.  
My husband and I are are both former USAF.  She re-married a Navy guy.  I guess they are trying to go overseas.  We are worried as we cannot carry the expense of overseas travel as he cannot travel overseas alone.  (We wouldn't want him to anyway).  She will not even pay the travel fee ($30.00) at the airline as it is.  Much less the guaranteed extensive time between visits....(probably no different than it is now the way she limits us with her schedule...)
There are so many issues I would love to talk and vent about but I'll leave this one where it is for now.  
I'm so glad I did a search on Father's rights and this popped up.

Any chatter on this would be a breath of fresh air.  Nice not to be the minority!  

[Belle]

first off what is your custody? She can not limit your visits unless actually stated in your order  "four weeks in summer to non-custodial parent/father" this is not right!!!
If you have reasonable visitation (about 72 days a year, every other weekend and shared holidays) she is "suppose" to agree to your requests. Start using Intent to Visit, and Denial letters to support your case (even if you can't afford to go to court this usually scares them; the custodial parent usually starts to act right if you  place the letters in your court file) The address below will help, heck if spring break has not passed, look up his school, get calender and you ask for this break and every three/four day extended weekend you can, try to save up in case she does let him come)(Southwest has some non-stop flights starting at $99 one way but no unaccompanied minors after 12years old)

Our childs cp does the same thing when we were transferred closer, she started making demands that child can't fly alone even on non-stop 3 hour flight, ok so I can travel with, nope not good enough, only dad . I been with child since 2 yrs old now 13. (my husband was at pentagon south side on 9/11, and now CP uses that as an excuse, she was living states away but you would think she was there by the way she acts.)

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/intent.htm

Hope this helps.
Belle

[forjordan]

Thanks so much for your reply.  The problem is that our visitation is still set for 5 years ago when we were all in the same location.  We are going to visit an attorney saturday.  we are going to try to modify the visitation for our long distance relations and their intent to go overseas.  He already has plans for Spring Break but we did get his Calendar from his school and have already planned on getting him the entire summer (new development since last night).  I really hate that my husband has to candy coat everything to get any sort of communication or agreement.  we didn't even know he had a birthday party saturday (his birthday was in dec....go figure) and we talk twice a week!  i guess we'll do whatever works.  i'm going to jump on that website you suggested now.  

thanks again!

[Belle]

I hope he comes out for the entire summer! That will be great for your son. Our order was set about 9 years ago, and is very vague, we wanted to reach an agreement outside of court.  Courtrooms seem to make people act worst, Like its personal.(well our CP)  It's about what the kids need emotionally, not just about what the parents want. Some people just don't get it.

[forjordan]

Thanks!  Me too!  You're right about the court rooms bringing out the worst in people.  It's nice to hear someone say it's about the kids not the parents.  I think most of todays problems....not just in divorce, but most problems would be solved or lessened anyway.  

Thanks!!