Ex-wife is hiding my daughter from me!!

[oanorth]

Hello all,

I am a newbie so please bear with me. My ex-wife divorced me 4 months ago and within weeks after the divorce was final she took my daughter and moved to another state. Because I am in the military and deployable she got primary residential custody. She also tricked me and changed the filed papers at the last minute to give her full parental responsibility(I agreed to shared responsibility).

I am trying everything I can to be involved in my little girl's life, but the ex is alienating my from her. All I have is a PO box and a cell phone which she rarely answers. I have a motion in the court to change the parental responsibility back to shared but I cannot move forward until the ex is served. And I cannot serve her until I know where they live. The courts will not help, the dept of family services will not help, and I am told that the police will not help. I have a few friends of the family who live in the state in question( OK) and are attempting to find them.

I have a very busy job defending this country, I just got back from the war last March, I pay more than a "fair" share of child support (and I am never late), I would do anything for my daughter, and yet I am the one who is shunned and ignored.  I am feeling so helpless. All I want is to be involved in my little girl's life and have her know that I love her.

I document all phone calls (or lack of) and store all email communications. I have a lawyer but he is not much help until we find them( although he has started the process of diligent search).

I have scoured the internet for articles that might explain what the gov can do for me. What I have found is this: If I stop paying child support she can through me in jail, but if she blatantly ignores a court order (in terms of access and visitation) nobody will do anything about it.

I need help from fathers who have been there.

Thanks,

Jon

[MYSONSDAD]

Have you thought about tracking her child support check? It is being delivered somewhere. Would anyone in her family give you information?

Hiring a PI might also be very productive.

Good Luck, I had the same crap with 'take the kid and run'

[Belle]

Is the state Oklahoma they fled to; or is the court order there? If  order is in Ok.  Greg from "Dads are Displaced" maybe able to help. (they are in Tulsa but can give you lots of info)

[patton]

If you have the PO Box you know what city she's in.  How big is the city?
Is the child in daycare?  Is she in school?

Where's her cell phone coming from?  State, area code etc.

There are ways to find people.

Leave me a message here PRIVATELY and I'll see if I can find her for you.

[oanorth]

First, I would like to thank all the people that responded so quickly. I will answer all the questions in order for the whole forum to see:

1. Child support check: Right now I pay her bank directly. Even if I payed it to the court it is most likely that she would ask for the check to be sent to the PO Box. My lawyer has advised me that this is, at best, a shallow lead

2. HIre a PI: I currently have 2 different friends of the family who are in Tulsa that have offered to help look for her. However, she has not changed her FL drivers LIC or registered her car from FL to OK. Also nothing shows up, vocation related, under her SS#.

3. Which state did she flee to: They fled to OK from FL. The divorce was filed in FL.

4. PO Box, city, daycare: Yes, I do have the PO box, she says that she lives in Tulsa (which is smaller than Jacksonville). My daughter does go to a church pre-school but I do not know the name. Her cell phone is Sprint and has an area code that is in Tulsa.

I recently took it upon myself to vist my little girl in Feb and the mother dropped her off at the hotel. So I have no idea where in the city she lives.

The FL 4th circuit court order for visitation when the parties are greater than 280 miles specifically states that "Neither parent shall conceal the whereabouts of any child of the parties, and each parent will keep the other advised at all times of the residential address and phone number where the child will be staying while in the custody of either parent."

I have sent this to BM in communication, so she knows what she is doing is wrong.

I told BM many times that I will be more than just a guy who shows up with a card and toy every once in a while. I plan on being my daughter's one and only father.

I am determined and I have time on my side. She cannot hide forever.

I have lost everything, which means I have nothing to loose. And that is the most dangerous kind of enemy.

Thanks,

Jon

[MYSONSDAD]

The FL 4th circuit court order for visitation when the parties are greater than 280 miles specifically states that "Neither parent shall conceal the whereabouts of any child of the parties, and each parent will keep the other advised at all times of the residential address and phone number where the child will be staying while in the custody of either parent."

My opinion only, but could this be a case of Parental Kidnapping?

You might want to post this on Socs board

"Children learn what they live"

[Belle]

Since she is in Tulsa (I'm guessing) you can count on Greg to answer any questions for free concerning Ok courts. (at Dads are displaced)
 
I would figure you can file a motion against in florida for her leaving w/o and order in place to relocate.

basically she is committing kidnapping!!!!
I personally would try for custody reversal, you probly could get it.

if you have her p.o. box #, you can locate post office then it if possible can you have a family member wait at that post office for a few days then they can give her your supeona to appear in (florida) court? (also if your child is old enough talk about her school like mascot or name of school, you can narrow the schools down)

I don't understand what some women are thinking when they do this to a child. they are thinking of only themselves

[MixedBag]

There are companies that can connect a street address to that P.O. Box number....search for them on the internet.  She has to provide something with a street address that has her name on it (like a utility bill) to rent a P.O. Box.

Worked like a charm for us 5 years ago....