visitation blues

[tjraid18]

 Hey people. To get right to the point, I'm going through similiar situation(s) as a lot of you. When I divoreced my ex (the second time I filed) I had no intention of divorcing my two children, but thats essentially what has happened. I feel as though my kids have been kidnapped and I am being forced to pay ransom monthly by the state and I never get to see them. After the seperation, during the first year - year 1/2 (children were 3yr. girl & 4yr. boy) of sporadic / power trip / once every 2 months visitations, the first thing my daughter would do is go over into the corner face red and shed tears. My son was a little better at not showing the pain- but it was there in his eyes and mine. It tore me up. Their mother has had no consideration for the pain our children have endured. I vowed to try and get custody but I moved to this town with her and her family is from here while I have very little family support and they are in another state. I have limited income and wheen child support kicked in (a whole nother story) I was pinned down. I did not give up. I tried very hard and was pretty resourcful climbing the walls my ex and the legal system put up. I worked a full and part time job often, sometimes working 100 hrs per week. I met a lady at one part time job whos husband was going through custody/ visitation with ex. She gave me some advice. And was very kind. Also there is a program called modest means that gets attorneys for discount and takes payments. This was very helpful to me. I think I even came close to having my dream come true, but I eventually self-destructed. Anyway, I feel I have let my kids down and have all but given up. If you have any advice or encouragement please pass it on. I'll do the same- Thanx