I wish I could help him

[zxcv1234]

My brother is going through a horrible time with his son's mother (they were never married) right now, and I would like to help him out as much as I can.  His lawyer seems to be doing nothing to benefit him, and they have been stuck in this place for quite some time.  I know next to nothing on this subject, but I'm doing my best to educate myself as best I can, but any help anyone could give me would be great.  Every time he comes back from meeting with his lawyer he says that the agreement that she wants him to sign is horrible (very little time, and way too much money in child support).  So things keep getting pushed back, and he hasn't seen his son in almost a year (the child is only about 18 months old).  Is this normal?  I kind of thought that he would be granted SOME visitation right off the bat, but again, I am completely ignorant on the subject.  He doesn't make a lot of money, and recently had to drop out of school to get a second job to pay for all of the legal fees and so he could save up a bit, but the amounts she's demanding in child support are completely unreasonable.  He would do anything for his son, and I know this is all killing him.
She also recently sent him a text message telling him that she is going to "get him", that she's changing their son's last name and that he will never see him again (actually, she wrote "you better watch your back, sexy", something she does often.  She goes from screaming at him one second to stuff like this the next.  She truly is a psycho.)  
Anyway, I hope you guys could give me some help on this.  You seem to all know what you are talking about, and I want to have a little knowledge behind me so I can help him out in any way I can.  
Thanks

[Brent]

>His lawyer seems to be
>doing nothing to benefit him

I agree, he should have been DEMANDING visitation all this time. DUmp this lawyer- he's worthless.


>time he comes back from meeting with his lawyer he says that
>the agreement that she wants him to sign is horrible (very
>little time, and way too much money in child support).  

Tell him not to sign anything until he gets competent representation.


>She also recently sent him a text message telling him that she
>is going to "get him", that she's changing their son's last
>name and that he will never see him again

I'd strongly recommend a parenting evaluation, ASAP.

Check out the pages below. Some of these pages will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information.

One of the first things you'll hear is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is crucial, and these pages will help get you started:

Protecting Yourself During Divorce
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

Get him either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[Peanutsdad]

My ex pulled many of the same things,, among others.

I gained custody of my daughter when she was 16 months old.


Dump the attorney,, hes wasting your brothers money,, get a new one.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm


 http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm



One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


 Contempt, Child Support Enforcement and You
This article will address what exactly contempt of court means to you, and more importantly, what to do about it.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/contempt.htm

[nosonew]

That lawyer is worthless, drop him like a bad habit! The more problems your brother has, the more the lawyer gets in fees!

It is ridiculous that he hasn't seen that baby in 12 months! Now he will have to go thru supervised visitation to get to know him!

She can't legally change his name without your brothers approval, which I hope he NEVER gives!

Can your entire family get together to get a retainer for a good attorney, and I strongly, strongly suggest an attorney that specializes in family law.  This could be his birthday and xmas gift for the next 17 years all combined into one! It will be priceless if he can get 50/50 custody, which should be his goal!

Good luck and come back often if you have questions!

[gipsy]

In Wash state there is a simple process , You need to get an atty that will just tell you what it is , Here it goes like this .
   File for a  temporary parenting plan , If She does not agree Have
   A    MOTION TO APPOINT A GUARDIAN AD LITEM .  filed all at the same time , She is obviously going to disagree , And the GAL will be appointed , The GAL will visit the parties and then talk to three witnesses that You give them on Your behalf , these people are  chosen By you because they will say good things about you , then The Guardian ad Litem will report to the judge , Its Call rport of the findings of the Guardian ad litem , They should say Like basic stuff and Your brother should Do what I did and get this report .
    MR . XXX  lives at 828 so fife street , He has a  house with a place set up for the minor child , A BED TOY's And Baby things , Bottle, crib diapers ., I Guardian of minor child checked the record , And MR XX Has no police record to substantiate what the Mother is alledging ,
RECOMENDATION OF THE GAL
   He should have visits with the child , 2 hours  supervised per week till I get a report back
   then atty takes this to court and gives the report to the commissioner and asks for a temporary parenting plan

 Second report of GAL
    Supervised visits went well  , I recomend unsupervised visits . 2 Hours every thursday ,
    6 Hours every  saturday
  Then at age eighteen months Saturday overnight, every tuesday 2 hours  


 Bla bla , But that the syatem and he has to get his atty to just file the papers , and get the commissioner or judge  to order the visits , In My case as well as your brothers the Mom Is not going to cooperate , And when the judge stamps the order she has to By law ,The child support will be calculated by his income , If he doesn't have an atty that just tells him to take her to court and go through the procees then he shoukld get another atty , My atty did a similar thing in the beginning I did not see my son till he was 11 months old , . Tell Your brother to read my post and ask his atty to start the legal process in order to get the visits ordered by the court , MomIS not going to cooperate , Tell Him to Be a good boy scout and don't let this make him react and just show all the court jesters and clowns his good side and be affectionate to the child , That was probably one of the best parts ofMy report when the GAL Wrote that I was affectionate to My son , A took care of him when  She was there . Obviously the court isn't looking for much , But if I did not , She may have reported Mr XX Was  not affectionate , This is not some wierd system , They just have a process and Your brother needs an atty that gets him into the process . The court will do NOTHING  Here In wash state untill the judge or commissioner see's a report of the Guardian ad Litem , So He needs to get the ball rolling ,it will take months but there needs to be legal action taken