help with affidavit for tomorrow

[littlebit]

Since my filing for custody & contempt, BM has been refusing my son & my time togeter (joint custody) and exhibiting serious PAS signs.  My lawyer is going in front of judge tomorrow to ask for some help.  

I have kept great records with times, dates, and details.  But the attorney says this is not the time for trying the whole case, just the matter at hand.  

How much if any details should I put in it?  

How in the world do I get my point across to the judge in such condensed form?  

The following is my affidavit.  Any advice or input is SO appreciated.
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IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF XXX COUNTY, ALABAMA
DOMESTIC RELATIONS DIVISION

DAD D. FATHER,
     PLAINTIFF,

VS                                                     CASE NO.   DR XXXX.

CRAZE E MOTHER,
     DEFENDANT.
AFFIDAVIT OF DAD D. FATHER


Before me appeared Dad who being known to me was duly sworn and deposed and stated as follows:

   "My name is Dad and I am the Plaintiff in this matter.  I have previously filed with this Court on XXX 00, 2004 a Motion for Custody and/or to enforce my visitation rights.  Since the filing of the Motion the Defendant has been served and more than 30 days has elapsed since service.  I have been able to talk to my son , XXX, only briefly a couple of times and each time I have spoken with him he has not been his normal self and is not allowed to speak freely with me.  His Mother and stepfather are trying so desperately to alienate my son and myself that they stand over him while we are on the phone and tell him what to say and then force him to be ugly to me and hang up on me.  His Mother has denied his requests to call me, and given him punishment for it.  He seems to be depressed and under a lot of stress.  His mother has refused to allow us to see each other, even though the court has ordered otherwise.  She has denied our court-ordered Spring Break as well as our weekends together.  She sent a letter threatening to do this, then forced our son to relay her agenda to me on the phone.  She has even taken our son to hide him at another house when it is my time to pick him up.  Because of her recent actions, I expect that she plans to not let me exercise my visitation for the six weeks of summer, and I will have no way of contacting and checking on XXX.  The defendant has denied me visitation and has repeatedly refused to let me talk to XXX on the phone.  I am asking this Court for an Order to pick up my son for our regular weekend visitation and extent the time through the end of summer to make up for the already lost visits.  During which time I will again get him some professional help.  The Defendant is putting too much stress and coercion on our son.  She has made criminal allegations against me, all of them have been found by the courts to be false.  And she has just recently (XXX 00, 2004) been put on probation in XXX for a criminal charge due to her attempts to separate us, and I think it would be in XXX's best interest to be away from that environment and go to counseling."
                     _________________________
                     DAD D FATHER
   Sworn to and subscribed before me on this ____day of June, 2004.
                     ___________________________
                     NOTARY PUBLIC   
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LittleBit's Dad

[patton]

I would be a little MORE SPECIFIC.  I learned the hard way when you are not specific enough, the Judge will sometimes just dismiss your case as frivilous.  Tell some of the evidence you have, not in detail, but just enough to show the Judge and the mother you mean serious business.  For every CONTEMPT I every filed against ex when I was the NCP I had at the very least 2-3 pieces of HARD evidence to show the CONTEMPTS, so they were undisputable.


I have been able to talk to my son , XXX, only briefly a couple of times and each time I have spoken with him he has not been his normal self and is not allowed to speak freely with me.

I WOULD ADD PER JOURNALS I KEEP

His Mother and stepfather are trying so desperately to alienate my son and myself that they stand over him while we are on the phone and tell him what to say and then force him to be ugly to me and hang up on me.

(I WOULD ALSO ADD PER COPIES OF PHONE RECORDS)


His Mother has denied his requests to call me, and given him punishment for it. He seems to be depressed and under a lot of stress. His mother has refused to allow us to see each other, even though the court has ordered otherwise. She has denied our court-ordered Spring Break as well as our weekends together.

(I WOULD ADD WITH WHATEVER DOCUMENTATION YOUR HAVE AS PROOF SHE DENIED YOU, WITNESSES ETC.)


She sent a letter threatening to do this, then forced our son to relay her agenda to me on the phone. She has even taken our son to hide him at another house when it is my time to pick him up.

(AGAIN I WOULD ADD WHATEVER PROOF YOU HAVE)

Because of her recent actions, I expect that she plans to not let me exercise my visitation for the six weeks of summer, and I will have no way of contacting and checking on XXX. The defendant has denied me visitation and has repeatedly refused to let me talk to XXX on the phone. I am asking this Court for an Order to pick up my son for our regular weekend visitation and extent the time through the end of summer to make up for the already lost visits.

( I WOULD BE MORE DEFINATE ON THE TIME MISSED AND WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE UP.  IF YOU'VE MISSED 14 days say IT!)

During which time I will again get him some professional help. The Defendant is putting too much stress and coercion on our son. She has made criminal allegations against me, all of them have been found by the courts to be false.

(WHICH I HAVE REPORTS ON, AS FALSE)

And she has just recently (XXX 00, 2004) been put on probation in XXX for a criminal charge due to her attempts to separate us, and I think it would be in XXX's best interest to be away from that environment and go to counseling."

[littlebit]

Thanks Patton. Good advice.

[Troubledmom]

My first suggestion is that you break this up into smaller sections. When the paragraphs all run together it is difficult to read. Smaller structured sentances are much easier to read, thus ensuring the Judge actually reads it.

Some phrase changing if you are interested...

**he has not been his normal self and is not allowed to speak freely with me

Revise to: his conversations sound as if he is not being permitted to speak freely.

**His Mother and stepfather are trying so desperately to alienate my son and myself that they stand over him while we are on the phone and tell him what to say and then force him to be ugly to me and hang up on me.

Revise to: His mother and step father seem to be attempting to alienate my son and I. They can be heard in the background during conversations telling XXX what to say, encouraging him to be rude, and then telling him to hang up on me.

**His mother has refused to allow us to see each other, even though the court has ordered otherwise. She has denied our court-ordered Spring Break as well as our weekends together.

Revised to: His mother has refused XXX and I to exercise our time together. Court Orders issued on (date) assured my son and I would have contact. Yet Ms.XXX has disregarded the orders, appearantly feeling her law is above the courts. Specific dates of denial are: list them

**The defendant has denied me visitation and has repeatedly refused to let me talk to XXX on the phone. I am asking this Court for an Order to pick up my son for our regular weekend visitation and extent the time through the end of summer to make up for the already lost visits. During which time I will again get him some professional help.
The defendant has denied me visitation and has repeatedly refused to let me talk to XXX on the phone. I am asking this Court for an Order to pick up my son for our regular weekend visitation and extent the time through the end of summer to make up for the already lost visits.
During which time I will again get him some professional help.

Revised to: As defendant has repeatedly denied visitation between myself and XXX, has repeatedly denied or interfered with telephone contact between myself and XXX, I am requesting that this Court make orders that will permit me to pick up XXX on (date) for our regulary scheduled visitation time and extend the visit to include the regulary scheduled summer visitation and XX extra days. This would mean that XXX be returned to Respondent on (date).

During this period, I will once more assure that XXX get into see a therapist, to address the issues that he may have due to the recent events.

**The Defendant is putting too much stress and coercion on our son. She has made criminal allegations against me, all of them have been found by the courts to be false. And she has just recently (XXX 00, 2004) been put on probation in XXX for a criminal charge due to her attempts to separate us, and I think it would be in XXX's best interest to be away from that environment and go to counseling

Revised to: I feel the Defendant is unable to see past her own anger and animosity to see how her actions are affecting our son. This inability to see his needs first has resulted in what I see as depression and anger in our child.
This inability to put our son first has caused her to make false allegiations against me. These alliegations have been proven false in court.

This is hopefully something that having a brief reprive from that environment and counseling can help XXX with.
Defendant was found guilty and put on probation in XXX for a criminal charge in relation to her attempts to seperate XXX and myself on (date).

DO NOT forget as Patton said to add your proof to these things. Wether it is your journal, police reports, court reports, whatever.

Good Luck!
TM

[littlebit]

TMom, you are good with words.  Thanks for the help!

LittleBit's Dad