rights of father?

[poundsp]

Okay, the situation is very sticky.  There is a guy he has been married twice.  He has a 10 year old daughter with the first wife.  He is still married to the second wife.  They have no kids.  The second wife was a bad mistake. He was at an all time low when he met this second wife.  However, he can't get a divorce from the second one because she will not give him one just to be spiteful.  He is now living with another woman whom he has known for a long time, they get along great, and they are pretty sure that they want to spend the rest of their life together.  Here's the problem.  His first wife has always caused problems in his relationships.  She has remarried and has two babies with her new husband.  But everytime the father gets in a new relationship, the first wife says whoever she is isn't good enough for her daughter and she always causes problems in his relationships.  Well, the first wife is saying that his daughter cannot come see him at his house anymore because he is still married but living with another woman, and that a lawyer told her she could get it legally fixed to where the daughter could not go to her dad's with this situation.  The only thing is, the daughter is always treated wonderfully when she goes to her dad's, and he can't help he is still married bc the 2nd wife will not sign whatsoever.  The ironic thing is, the first wife had mentioned to both the dad and the girlfriend that they should move in together.  But now that they have moved in together, she is saying that he can only see the daughter on his weekends at his mother's house and that she will not be able to come out to his house until he is married to his live in girlfriend, which won't happen any time soon as long as the second wife won't sign.  What are his rights as a father?  Is the first wife telling the truth about the fact that a lawyer told her a judge would grant her that the daughter could not come out there as long as he was married but living with another?  Thank you so much for any feedback.

[InTheMiddle]

My first thought is take a trip to Mexico and divorce the 2nd wife.  I don't think you need her permission to do it there.  Then marry the 3rd while you are there, that should handle all the 1st wife's objections.

My second thought is report the 2nd wife for polygamy.

My third thought is the first wife, who has custody of the daughter, should never be trusted because she intentionally gave advice to use against you.  She keeps her friend close, but her enemies closer.

And finally, check the laws in your state and your parenting agreement.  It should be specifically outlined if the living arrangements can be used to refuse court ordered visitation.

Good luck!

[Bolivar OH]

Contact Jerry Springer, he sounds like your friends best bet.

[Troubledmom]

Depending on the state in which this is happening there are several recourses for Dad to look into.

Mom would not be able to NOT allow the child to be at his home. Although some states could/would allow wording in a custody order which states that an unrelated party of the opposit sex would not be permitted to stay over night while the child is in the house.

Your friend may look into bifurcating the status of the marriage from the property settlement. I am saying this on the assumption that wife #2 is contesting the divorce based upon that issue. If she is contesting based on any other issue, then your friend needs to get look into the laws of his state to discover the way around that issue.  Since there are no children, it should be a fairly easy situation to rectify.

It sounds as if he does not have attorney, my suggestion is that he at least speak to one, to clarify both issues he is facing.

TM

[Kimberly9]

If you are the live in girlfriend, please think long and hard about continuing the relationship until Dad gets his life in order.  The road of a stepmom is a hard one, even in the best of situations.  This isn't good.  

[stepma]

First of all your boyfriend can go and file for a divorce and if wife does not respond within a certain amount of time, he will get a divorce by default. That is if he really does want a divorce and he's not jerking you and wife#2 around.... have you spoken to wife #2 or is this what boyfriend tells you she is saying.

Second of all I think if you guys are going to be in court any time soon regarding the child, it WOULD look bad because you are living out of wedlock. I don't think wife#1 can change any visits unless she does take you to court and try to make you guys look bad.