Am I to late?

[tahancock]

I was divorced in Utah in 1991 after my wife files during a pregnancy.  Since I was in the military and was moving there was nothing I could do to stay in the state.  I, regretable have only seen Jason twice.  It is not that I don't put some of the blame on myself.  I remarried and have been for 12 years while my ex is now divorced for the 3rd time.  I have raised 2 step-children and a daughter of our own.  Ages now 18, 15, and 8 while Jason is now 13.  The only time that he can remember me is our visit when he was 4, and then my parents picked hin up in Utah and brought him to Montana where I was stationed.  

In the past I have tried to arange visits but only get excuses of I don't have the money or I am hot traveling in winter followed a verbal hashing of what a piece of crap I am ...... (you can imagine)  to the point that I did not even want to call.  Now I am even more of a piece of crap becuase I don't call often enough.  Now I have offered to buy him a plane ticket (on my own cause she doesn't have any money to pay her half as stated in the decree) but he don't want to come here.  It is his decision so he says.  Even if it is he has most definately been conditioned, probably part of our lack of contact but I am sure not entirely.  

Last Saturday I received the first ever call from Jason (no long distance on the home phone, call was from a cell phone).  The only words I got were "Send us money for school clothes.  Can you send more child support.  Can you start doing more for me?"  I was floored an pissed, but calm talking to Jason.  Then all hell broke loose when the ex got on the line after her normal verbal assault.  

I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!

After the divorce I paid her through a state agency (Office of Recovery Services-- ORC) in Utah.  I (mistake) conviced Denise to let me pay her dirctly since a portion of the support went to the agency.  Last year she filed a complaint with them that "I had not paid her support for 1 year.  I could not believe it.  After I sent them checks to prove otherwise she changed her statement to OK just not the weeks I could not fild the checks for.  I ended up paying more.  Now after ORC gives me a credit because I have to provide health insurance it is my fault that they give me a wopping $13/mo.  It is not my fault that I have not paid her her full amount.  

What really burns me in the whole situation is that there are state agencies to make sure that a non-custodial parent pays support all over the US to the point of taking away the drivers licence, garnishing a pay check, or possibly jail time at little or no cost to the other parent, but if I have a problem with visitation and harrassment to the entent that this has gone that if I want to do anyting I have to pay for an attorney and take her to court.