Looking for suggestions and advice

[Allison_B]

My brother is having a time with his ex concerning his visitation with his 2year old daughter. Basically here is the scenario, he shows up to get daughter for visits and approaches the home hearing daughter crying, not wanting to go with him.She is very combative and crying not wanting to be placed in her car seat. MOTHER stays inside home. This has just started happening, for the last 2 visits.

Mother has called stating that Father has got to figure something else out because she can not handle hearing child cry, and that when returned she is "catatonic" exact word used. She has also called stating the reason daughter does not want to go with Father is due to the fact that he doesnt do anything "fun" with her. This woman has no idea of what he does during his time of parenting, and I feel she is trying to bully him into giving up his visitation with daughter.I feel she is looking for any excuse to cause him stress in this area. When he calls from picking her up, crying himself because he doesnt know what to do it just breaks my heart.

Does any one have any suggestions or comments?

I would also like to state that he used the "Fathers Rights" Attorenys , Cordell and Cordell here in St Louis,which I suggested he use and attended one of their free seminars, he got mowed completely, fighting basically for "fair" visitation. I would suggest anyone using or prospecting them please do your research and get comments from other clients, not just the BIG NAME Baseball Player that they use in their Ads.

Sincerely,
Allison_B

[Kimberly9]

and his mom blamed the parenting time as well.

I think he needs to tell mom that he isn't going to be bullied out of his parenting time and that they need to work together to make it easier on the little girl.   He needs to not give up.  It is a stage and she will move through it.

Some things that they can do:

1.  Mom can write down a typical daily schedule for the girl, favorite foods etc.  This way he can not alter her routine that much.

2.  He can duplicate some things in the little girls bedroom at both house ie bedding, stuffed animals, favorite toys.  This will help her feel more secure.

3.  He needs to figure out a way to have contact in between visits.  Make a picture book of them doing things together for her to have at Mom's.  Read her bed time stories on a tape and have mom play it.  Call and talk just for a moment on the phone.  Send packages and cards in the mail.    We would send random little goodies -- free and cheap.  But the act of getting mail helped.

4.  Mom should be more encouraging with the parenting time.  Even if she doesn't like it she needs to help her daughter adjust because he is not going to give up his parenting time.  Both parents need to suck it up and interact positively during exchanges.

5.  After he picks up his daughter,  have him stop and have a coke and ger reacquainted.  Start some routines and things they always say or do.  These routines will help her adjust.

[wendl]

Once the child is in your brothers car and driving how is she, how is the child while at dads house.

It could be that mom is putting undue stress on the little one about visitaiton.

My son was fine when going to visitation when he was younger, but when he came home he  was little brat. It has to do with adjustment from one house to another, many kids do this.

Mom would be helping her by not making a big deal about her going with dad.

I used to send my sons favorite stuffed animal with him when he went to visit dad that way he still had his secuirty toy while with him to.

And remind mom and dad that being a parent isnt about doing anything FUN things all the time, it has to do with being a part of a family and spending time with eachother as a family. Its not about WHAT cool toys we buy them or what cool places we take them, but that we show our love to them.

What they will remember when adults is the family time, I always remember going camping with my dad, family things I did with my dad and stepmom, I cannot remember what they bought me, but I remember doing family stuff. The thing I remember most about my dad was laying on the couch with him watching Star Trek lmao

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[gipsy]

Here's my story , turns out that when My son got old enough to talk , He told me His mom was saying , I don't love  Him and was going to hurt him , A little trick , Simple but worked well for me , Bring a lolipop And immediatly give it to the child , My son was content when I gave it to him and then I would Just let him be a bit ,and once he got away for a while he was calm , Second , You said You think He got Mowed , Well . You won't get much visitation at first ,Hopefully you got somethin decent , and that should progress as time goes , The mother tried to say My son was traumatized By the visits , What ever you do in this great frustration DO NOT GIVE UP ! I started showing with  a video camera and This ceased , Secondly the mother has to relise you are not going to quit , And the most part of this will subside  ,,,KEEP TAKING YOUR VISITS !!   And the hardest thing to do is to turn off all the sick crap and concentrate on fun at the visit , this is when I really won My son over , at first I was so shocked by this crap I wasn't enjoying my time , And how can the child when you are up set , so concentrate on playing with the child,. AND Wash state law reads that it is up to the parent to promote and fosster a relationship , Maybe you need to find outif it say's that in your state ! and tell her ,