visitation denial

[sissy]

Please help! My bro keeps asking me to help him but I don't know how! His wife is playing the system, and noone but her gets heard. My bro is in bad shape and doesn't know where to turn. His wife took off with his son, he is living of credit card advances, paying all thier bills, she is sitting pretty in new apt., new furniture, living off of her boss, (new boy friend). She has had their son in counselling, but noone knows what has been said. She has called me telling me, "It isn't good." She has dropped hints that she thinks their son was molested by his father. I don't believe it! I have asked my bro. He emphatically denies it. Bro's  wife has denied any of us from seeing my nephew. He used to almost live at my house. He had a temporary agreement of custody, that he should never have signed, but did. It allowed him to see his son every other week for a few hours with supervision. I supervised. I know there was no abuse there! My nephew wants to love his dad and me, but you can tell that he was real careful what he says. Now my bro has no visitation at all. His wife has a restaining order aginst him. He had been calling her and calling her, he is just so desperate. Attornies just don't seem to care. We just don't know what actions we can take to counter what seems to be her total control over the situation.

[MYSONSDAD]

Tell your bro to get an attorney fast! Do not mess with this. RO's are trouble and are mainly used to keep one parent from contact with the child.

Make sure it is an attorney who specializes in Family Law. Go to the courthouse and sit in on some trials, if you find someone who fights, talk to them, set up an appointment.

Do not make contact with her. He will be in violation, no letters, calls, nothing. If she contacts him, then she violates her own order.

Until this is brought before a judge, he will not be allowed his visitation. He needs to prove it is based on lies. Has any Child Services been called? What State? How old is his son?

You need to start educating him, get him on this board. Many here to help... Many articles. The more you can learn, the better your chances of fighting back.


This might help.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/false_ans9.htm - size 3kb - 08 Aug 2002

How can she say he molested his son if the visitation was supervised?

"Children learn what they live"

[Louisiana]

You and your brother must become very educated in Parental Alienation Syndrome.  His ex will take that childs mind away from him if you can not get the court to change the custody.  I would recomend getting an attorney that is knowledgable of PAS and believes in it.  The problem with attorneys is they make thier living on this stuff.  You must find one that is passionate about your case.  Parental Alienation Syndrome is a for of psychological abuse.  Go to //www.helpstoppas.com.  There you will get an idea as to how serious this is.  You will also be able to get helpful information about cases in your state.  You must be in charge of your own case.  No matter what you pay these guy's, no one cares as much as the Dad that has lost his child.  My husband has lost all three of his.  Dr. Richard Gardner put a name on this.  If you just type parental alienation syndrom into the internet you will learn alot.  My husband is having to act as his own attorney.  This is not for everyone, but we have run out of money and have little hope of any change.  His children are teenagers now, his oldest is 20.  We go to all school activies just so that maybe someday they will look back with a clearer eye and say, maybe mom was wrong and he did love me.
It may be hard to do, but if he doesn't have a church I would suggest he find one.  This is not an easy thing to servive.  But his child will need a sane, productive dad when this gets straigtened out.  God bless you for being there to help him.  We are trying to find ways to make the public away of just how big a problem this is.  Tell him to talk to people.  There are many others out there just like him and worse.  

[sissy]

Thank you so much for your help! I have read up on PAS and am convinced it started already when my nephew was a baby. (Now he is nine.) We all should have seen this coming, but denial is much easier. It is all such an ugly game of cat and mouse with nephew  the prize. Bro does attend church, but his wife has made the rounds "counseling" with different pastors telling her sob story, or as I see it setting the stage. I haven't lost any faith during this whole thing, but have lost alot of piety, and faith in church people. Guilty until proven innocent seems to be the philosophy all over the place. This kind of thing isn't supposed to happen, but it does. Wish this thing would just be over, but until then I'll just keep on reading, studying,  learning, and fighting, hopefully the truth will come out soon. If nothing else I guess I have a new outlook on Fathers Rights! I sure do miss my little treasure though!

[cathy]

You have to work within in the system or the system will kick your ass.  You need to learn the system and learn what you need to do to get the power of the system behind YOU.

I know a lot of people on these boards have been screwed and there are horror stories.  But there are cases where justice prevails.  Just stay smart, stay focused.  It is hard, but your brother cannot act out in anger or frustration.

When is she claiming the molestation occurred?  Was the restraining order to prevent your brother from being around the child?  How long is it for? Is there a court date?

And yes - there is a lot of information and knowledge around here - on this board and on the internet.

Good luck!

[MYSONSDAD]

The bro has to get on this site and ask questions, do the research. Educating yourself can speak volumes.

Documentation could also be of great importance...

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

Joni posted this a while back, could be an interesting read for your brother...

http://www.angryharry.com/reMaternalGatekeeping.htm

"Children learn what they live"