Dare to disagree... again

[BrianL]

Dearest Samantha,

You know, it's kind of ironic that I should start off this e-mail like that because:  1) you can't read (but you're doing great on your writing!), and; 2) even if you could read, you wouldn't ever be able to read this.  You see, a terrorist judge imposed a permanent injunction on my speech to you.  So, I can't even tell you about how daddy continues to fight to keep his relationship with you.  I'm not allowed to explain to you why, sometimes, you ask me questions about mommy that I won't answer.  I'm not allowed to explain to you why, sometimes, you see daddy with tears in his eyes when you color him a picture of you and him holding hands, or when you come into his bed to give him "good morning hugs and kisses," or when, out of the blue, you say "daddy, I love you."  (By the way, the tears that I get when you constantly squeeze my ears are for a different reason, in case you ever wonder.)

Oh well... maybe one day I'll win at the U.S. Supreme Court and have the injunction (along with all of these other vile laws) properly declared unconstitutional.  Then again, maybe I won't and you'll grow up (as most children from divorced families do) thinking that your father abandoned you... that he didn't care about you... that you weren't loved... that you weren't worthy of love.  After all, how will you ever learn the truth if I'm only allowed to participate in your life 4 days/month and not allowed to speak with you?  You won't – that's part of the terrorists' intent.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that, today, daddy filed his second appellate brief (I've posted it on my Web site).  This appeal is for an order where a terrorist judge stole an additional $82,000 from me to give to mommy's attorneys so that they can continue to keep me from being a part of your life.  It's also because the terrorist judge doubled my purported child support payments 2 months after your mommy and I got divorced.  (Mommy's attorneys have now stolen about $240,000 from me for her legal defense exclusively, which doesn't include the $60,000 I paid my past 2 attorneys.)  I'm also challenging the constitutionality of another law that removes a trial by jury in divorce cases, as I think a jury would have never done what this terrorist judge did.

Dearest daughter, I don't want you to take this the wrong way:  I have no regrets about marrying your mom; for, if I hadn't, you wouldn't exist.  Knowing that you are alive is all the reward this father needs to keep him going after the justice he seeks.  I once read a quote from someone named Mother Theresa that resonated with me:  "Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.  Give the world your best anyway."  One day in the future, if you're allowed, you might read some of the things I've written and be able to understand the "hurt" I feel.  Please, sweetheart, try not to let it hurt you.  Be proud that you provided the motivation to keep me going.  I incurred the pain to prevent you from experiencing as much.  Also, please don't feel sorry for me, as I don't consider my efforts a sacrifice:  I value you more than I value avoiding the pain.

I know that, sometimes, you want to go to mommy's house because she has so many toys and dress-up costumes, or buys you so many presents, or takes you to all the shows.  I'm sorry sweetheart that I can't always do those things for you.  You see, the terrorist judge will put me in jail if I miss a purported child support payment (which this particular terrorist judge is dying to do).  Of course, everyone knows that the $39,000/year I am forced to give your mommy doesn't have anything to do with supporting a 5-year old.

So, my baby girl, I'm going to keep fighting for you... no matter how much money they steal from me, no matter how they keep me from you, and no matter how they regulate what I can and cannot say to you.  I know you suffer when mommy yells at me in front of you...  I know you suffer when you want to spend more than 4 days/month with me...  I know you suffer when you draw pictures of you, mommy, and me holding hands.  I know you suffer.  Though I won't disregard your mommy's participation in this, as you grow up and (potentially) learn the truth about why your daddy wasn't part of your life, try not to be too angry with her, as she was just a pawn.  The real damage was inflicted by the terrorist judges and the attorneys.  Always know that I never considered your mommy my enemy.

Sunshine, even though I do not expect to win this appeal in the Illinois courts, know always that I love you.  But, don't ever take my word for it – look solely at my actions.  My actions will always demonstrate how special you are to me.

Love always,


Daddy

There is no such thing as visitation between a parent and his child.

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