Bio Mom interrogating kids

[mindymindy]

I have been with my partner for 2 years.  In that time, Bio mom has asked for all details after their visits.  Which is fine.  We aren't doing anything wrong.  However, I am a light drinker.  The last time that I had a glass of wine, my boyfriends daughter got very upset and then said that her mom told her that wine, beer and other alcohol kills people.    This was an issue when we were smokers also.  My boyfriend quit a year ago, and I hide it from them. Even though I am an outside smoker, never in the car.  They said that their mom said if people smoke around them, it will get in their lungs and they will get cancer and die.
Lately, his daughter has been walking up to our drinks and smelling them. Bio mom used to drink, smoke and party A LOT and we assumes that she still does and hides it.  (She smelled like smoke the last time I saw her.) However, she told the kids that she doesn't anymore.
She has talked the kids into saying that their dad had "green stuff" that he was rolling.  This was totally untrue. (this was about two years ago)
So now, if we go out to eat or take the kids to a family function and people are having a drink, I am afraid that it will upset them.  Is there any reason that she should be questioning them and telling the kids we are going to die?  We do not drink and drive, do not overdue it. The kids are 8 and 10.  

[MixedBag]

you have a pm

[Ref]

That is so wacky! Don't sweat it. When I fist got involved with my DH, my mother gave me some advice. She said "Live your life as the good person I know you are. Don't try to hide what you shouldn't be ashamed of for the benefit of BM". I have lived by those words as much as possible. Every now and then I start worrying about what I am doing and my mom reminds me.

The fact of the matter is, if it is not you having a drink, it will be you having a smoke. If its not you having a smoke, it will be you watching too much TV. If it is not that you watch too much TV it will be you blink too loud.

Just live your life as best as you can and you will have nothing to worry about. The kids will get used to the fact that the rules are different. If you think about it, if you hide your occasional drink from them, how are they going to learn that BM is wrong and that drinking doesn't have to be deadly. You can even use this as an opportunity to talk to them about responsible drinking, kind of a prep course for the big talk when they are a liitle older.

Best Wishes
Ref