Change in parenting plan....

[Littlebride]

My DH has 2 sons from a very brief previous marriage. The boys were 7 months and 19 months when they divorced so vistation does not include any summer visitation or spring break etc. He has EOW and T-TH nights from 5pm to 8pm and that is it other than a few hours on  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fathers Day and his birthday.

Their mother does not deny visitation but never allows for one minute extra either. If we ask to do something special she will require that we trade time so that the amount of time is the same. On the weeks that he does not have them for the weekend he sees them for only 6 hours.

The boys are now 3 and 4 and will not begin school for another year, my question is do we have to wait until then to change the parenting plan in order to get more time with them?

We would also like to ask that the T and TH nights be extended to overnight and I know she will completely flip over this. We only live 4 miles apart and in the same school district so getting them to school once they begin will not be an issue.

Just looking for some advice or encouragement here I guess.

[Miller]

and file for a revision to the visitation now.  If you want to include things such as Spring Break, then just add a clause stating that the Spring Break schedule used will be that of the school district in which the children live.

I'm not sure how common it is for 2 weekday overnights in your area, but it's not at all common here.  We have my SD overnight on 1 weeknight.  We also have EOW...Friday after school (she rides the bus to our house) until Monday morning when school starts (rides the bus back to school).  We used to have her on Tues. and Thurs. evenings (not overnight) and went to the one overnight instead.

Make sure to address summer vacation, Christmas Break, Spring Break, all the holidays, and all of the "extra" days off school (i.e., Veteran's Day, M.L. King Day, etc.).

It took time and energy on our part but we now have a much better agreement.  We get half of the summer, half of Christmas Break, every other Spring Break, and half of the "extra" days off school.

Good luck!!

[joni]

NOW, you have to file now, especially since she's not cooperating to foster the relationship with your DH.

You can file through the friend of the court office for a change in parenting plan.  This should be done without an atty.  If she gets an atty, you'd probably have to retain one as well.

Here are some parenting plan samples to follow.  Since the mother can't be flexible, address everything is specific details as to exact times and dates.  Don't leave anything for interpretation such as the verbage "liberal as agreed upon by the parties".  Clearly, the parties can't agree.

And remember, ask for the moon and settle for this.  Don't go into this fair and asking for the middle, you know you'll get less than that with her attitude.

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan4.htm

//www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan8.htm

[4honor]

What State?

In most every state, you can request mediation even if there has not been a significant change in the circumstances of the CP home or the child. The thought of paying a lawyer to help her hash out/defend a few minor changes will likely make her want to do some wheeling and dealing.

Understand, that if you make a modification now, you may be limited on any changes after school begins, so you need to think ahead and include a step up in time at each life stage of your child.  The longer you wait, the more likley the courts will look at this as your acquiesence to the way things are. This is a balancing act.

[Littlebride]

When they went through the divorce she fought him on every second of visitation. She proposed that he have the T-TH and then EOW for 5 hours on Sat and 4 hours on Sun. Needless to say she was shot down in court but she refused to work through mediation and even walked out when they told her this was not reasonable.

The game has changed though and I happen to work for an attorney who does some family law....lucky me!!! We are going to offer her the option of us coming up with a parenting plan and if we can keep it oou of court we will incur the cost of filing it.

I had not though of asking for 1/2 of the inservice days.

Another ?, we are in KS which supports shared custody. Does that mean that we have a shot at getting them 50/50?? We would love that......

[joni]

This may be your only opportunity, I would shoot for the moon and go for 50/50.

[Kimberly9]

KS is very father friendly.   Where do you live?    We live in South Central Kansas,  I would be willing to help in anyway that I can.  

Finding the "significant change of circumstances" is the hardest part.  

[Littlebride]

Is children maturing from infants to school age enough of a change to qualify?

[ocean]

State the reason is to set up a parenting plan for per-school and school age.Dad lives 4 miles away. Could you use that your DH work schedule changed recently?  If you live only 4 miles then 50/50 would be ideal. Look at the schedules above ...they are all good...put in details, details, details...who picks up, exact times, all the holidays (ask for  school calendar at your district office..they get a lot of monday holidays you can add on to if you do not get the 50/50. )
Post your parenting plan and we can help you...Then you can send it to her and ask her to think about it and get back to you by a certain day and then you will probably have to file for mediation first....Good luck

[justwantstobeadad]

also make sure you put a move clause in it. That she cant move out of the district without petitioning the court. GL