I need help-I haven't seen my kids in two years !!!!

[mikeb73]

My name is Michael, I have been divorced for 2 years and my ex-wife got sole custody because she upped the scheduled court date for the divorce but didn't send me a notice of the change, I didn't find out the divorce was final until 1 month later, when I tried to call my girls.
Since then we have been back to court for setting up visitation 5 times and each time my ex is not willing to set up any times and since she was given sole custody the judge isn't pushing the issue. The judge ordered we go through mediation, my ex states she can't afford it, I was willing to pay for the entire mediation cost. My ex will not return the mediators calls and refuses to allow me any visition. The judge stated the her final decision was for us to go to a mediator and come to some sort of agreement. How can we do that if my ex is unwilling? Is there anything I can do since she apparently has all the rights and I have none. I really miss seeing my children and I want to be a part of thier lives while they are still small (8 & 4).
Any help is greatly appreciated. I can't really afford to keep paying an attorney for nothing.          :(

[Ref]

My DH's was in Fl. He had to file "to compel" his ex to appear to mediation. If she didn't show, she would be in contempt and have to reimburse him for all costs. She did show to it and the mediator saw right through her. It was beutiful. She threatened to withhold visitation, but when he bought it up in mediation ie "Do you intend on allowing me to pick up children at ... today at your home?", she said yes.

If I were you, I would
1. Set up a new mediation date
2. Get the mediator to write you a letter detailing his/her attempts at contacting your ex.
3. Send her a certified letter stating the date and the location
4. Go to the court house and file a motion to compel (or whatever form you need to compel her attendence to the mediation)

Then before mediation, find out what standard visitation is and draft up something that resembles it, but tailored to your needs. Be as detailed as possible about pickup times and locations, phone/email communications etc...  Also, ask for the moon because it is a true negotiation and she will not want to budge. You need wiggle room.

Most people find it really helpful to ask Soc on the Dear Socreteaser board if they can email it to him for suggestions. You can also post on that board it get help properly completing the forms you need.

Good luck and keep posting. DH just went through this and got 100% more visititaiton and a ton more rights.

Best wishes
Ref