we need help

[silverfox989]

My brother potentially had two children out of wedlock with a woman who will not allow him or my family to see his children, which everyone desperately wants to do.  In Indiana the woman has sole custody without a paternity test on children born out of wedlock, and he cannot afford a test for both children.  All he wants is to be a part of their lives, and I do not think he should be punished for that, I think he should be commended.  Do you know of any support groups that would be willing to help him through this? She is married now and has been talking about her husband adopting the children, which would exclude my family from them, and we are horrified. Moreover, she has been telling the older child, S, that daddy doesn't love her and that he'll probably just "skip out," as S put it to my mother. Now she will not let the children have any contact with their dad or grandparents. We need help. Thank you.
 

[4honor]

They  may have to help him pony up the dough for the paternity tests. He will probably need them in order to go for visitation, cause the minute she sees a visitation request she is going to try to hit him with HIGH child support order, to deter him from gaining any ground in court.

If he can afford one test maybe someone in the family will charge the other test on their credit card for other child. Her actions are suspect  and indicates that she is either very vindictive or she thinks there is a possibility that he is NOT the father.

He does not want to be paying child support for a child that is not his and each child should have the right to know their biological parents (warts and all).

This matter being up in the air is doing no one any good. Get it resolved. Have him sell things on eBay or have a garage sale (my BIL made rent by having a garage sale 2 weekends ago) for the $$.

[nosonew]

And lets not forget... if he proves paternity, he will forever be financially responsible via child support for these two children as well. He can't afford DNA testing? He won't be able to afford CS either. Not to mention likely bearing the cost of any visitation, which bm will likely fight tooth and nail, and when she denies the visitation, your only recourse is court. Which = more money out of pocket. Which usually results in her getting her hand slapped and they tell her not to do it again.

Since there isn't any relationship now, if proven, the visit would start out supervised. Costly as well.

I am in NO WAY saying $$$ is more important than the relationship with the dad and his family... however, make sure everyone goes into this with their eyes wide open at how it generally works.

Good luck...