not getting visitation

[monicanchris]

my husband and his wife were divorced in may of 2003 it is supposed to be joint custody at the time of the divorce his ex wife had not let him see his children(3) for about one year so a gradual visitation was started just saturdays at first then working up to regular visitation we had finaly gotten to that point in july of 2003 we picked the kids up for what was supposed to be a month long visit over summer break it started great but on the second or third day of july while my husband was at work his ex walked into our home and took the children we contact the local police they said they could do nothing she returned the children a day or two later we had them then until the 15th of july when he let her mother take the children and my child while we went gracery shopping we returned to town to find them all including the ex a sonic my husband and ex got into an arugment about about the youngest childs birthday she made the children get in her car and she took them it was about a year later when she let him talk on the phone to them again and then this past novmeber we made the 850 mile trip to see them (we have moved from texas to IL. in Oct. 2003)  he finaly got her to answer the phone the day his visitation was to start and first she told him he could not see the children because they had plans (he told a month earlier we were coming) after making a few calls one to his "attorney" she called back and said he come to her granny's to see them but they didn't want to go with him so him and his mother went to her granny's and the children said they wanted to go with thier dad so she let them go they stayed the night come the next she said they need to go get clothes for thanksgiving dinner she came to his mothers made the kids get in the car saying they could come back when she got around the corner she called on her cell phone and said they weren't coming back all that we get told by the cops is it's civil matter all the "attorney" says is give me more money to go back to court with no gaurntee that when we take off work and drive 850 miles one way we will even see a judge PLEASE help us

[wendl]

You need to go back to court and get a set visitation plan, when she fails to compy file contempt and request the time be made up.  Everytime it is your visitation send an intent to visit letter certificate, is she denying during your time, file contempt, document document.

But you really do need a new order that spells out everything so their is no confusion.  

You can do this pro-se if you look into the laws and learn what is needed.

Best wishes.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[monicanchris]

we have a standard order of visitation everyother weekend from friday at 6 till school monday morning the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends of the month Thanksgiving in odd years christmas in even years July 1st till the 31st in the summers and spring break.  One big problem is we are 850 miles away so we cant do everyother weekend but we are trying to do the long visits thanksgiving, christmas, summer, ect. we have documentation from when we lived there but nothing since we moved since she let him have them for a day at thanksgiving.  How do i get the documents to file contempt and do you have an idea of what it costs?

[MixedBag]

O.k., your course of action is complicated but you can do it.

The cost -- let me start there.  First off there will be a filing fee, and that is determined by the county that has jurisdiction.  Then you'll have to have her served.  The cost will depend on the method required by your jurisdiction (process server or certified mail etc).

The cost of going back to the court and travelling to appear in court for all hearings (pre-trial, possible mediation appointments, trial).....

Then you'll need to decide if you're smart and comfortable enough to do this or if you're better off hiring an attorney to represent you.

Contempt?  That's where you go to the judge and you say "Your honor, she has been willfully violating the order."  If Dad hasn't had time with the child, you've got a good point.  However, distance is now a factor too and your order was probably set up for close distances not long distances.....

What does it specifically say about transportation?

What does it specifically say about Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring Break?  See, in "close distance plans", Thanksgiving is usally "only that day" whereas in long distance plans, it covers the entire time the child is out of school (or maybe even more when they are younger).

The only real thing I honestly see that she probably violated is the specific time over the summer (where you said it was a month long) if you didn't get that.

I agree that your order needs to be updated to reflect your current situation.  Not sure if I'd suggest approaching that with a "Motion to Show Cause" for contempt, as opposed to a "Motion to Change Parenting Plan" based on a significant change of circumstances with your move away from the child.

Oh yea, forms to get you started are sometimes available from the county courthouse.

Hope that helps...