this court system is so frustrating !

[wow]

I am a father of a wonderful 12 year old daughter. Her and I have a great time when we are together and she truly is the apple of my eye. Her mother has relocated my daughter to 3 different cities since our divorce. I have always had to pick up the pieces of these moves, however never missing a pickup or support payment. I have court ordered access to my daughter.

Throughout all this, I have dealt with PAS on a major major level. IT is so bad that now that my ex wife claims my daughter does not want to talk to me , and refuses to allow me to talk to her on the phone. This is the only contact i have as she lives in a different city.  I am absolutely devestated.

At christmas, I tried in vain to access my daughter my phone , of course only to hear the same response "she does not want to talk to you". I drove to her house contacted the police with my court order and advised them that i wanted to access my daughter as per my court order. The police informed me that I did not have an apprehension clause in my order therefore they could not really do anything. So much for a  $26,000 order i payed a lawyer for. The police however were willing to talk my ex spouse into letting me bring in her presents. When I seen my daughter she had lost at least 25 lbs, she looked frail and defeated. She told me Merry Christmas Daddy , hugged me and whispered in my ear I love you.

Following this the ex brings a motion to the court to deny me "unathorized visits to the home", "an order to not allow me to send gifts for my daughter at her school", "a request to change my daughtes name to follow her new married name" There was also a statement apparently (not sworn) from my daughter that she does not want to see me.

Upon replying to this request, I asked the court to order that she comply with the court order and my access be re instated. The court said without talking to my daughter, simply taking the mothers word that my daughter does not want to talk to me, that Rebecca is 12 and she can contact you if she wishes. So we cannot enforce your order.

My poor little girl is there trapped without a say , and I have never heard from her personally that she does not want to see me, however the police or the courts cannot helpl.

sad situation in Canada.

[gipsy]

that is very painfull , I am sorry to here that :
   Most of us are from the USA On this site , And don't have any info on the laws in Canada ,
  However the laws here provide for a Guardian Ad Litem to be appointed , And this person reports to the court ,
    Myabe you would be able to talk to a number of atty's in canada . It's border line self defeating  to hire just any atty here also , So Interview a bunch of atty's and see what can be done . I have found that I can't go pay a bunch of retainers to every atty that charges to just consult , And the worst one I hired charged for consultation ,
   So that should not be a limiting factor , In other words there are good atty's that don't charge for consultation , And I found one and hired him .  Advice for her in Washinton state  would be that you have to get an atty that knows how to use the system , And that would be to file contempt , And It's hard to get contempt because it has to be will full disobeyance of a court order :But the issue is you file ,
   Basically talk to a bunch of atty before you hire any one of them ! From My expeirience DON'T hire one that talks a big story , Because it's not about a big story , Its about a legal process , Thats like following directions , It's not about any fabulous process , there is iether a legal remedy by law or not , Yes you could be totally frustrated , especially if you get an atty that charges 26,000 $ to get a parenting plan , to be thats a sign of way wrong , My atty charged a flat fee of 3,000$ And did a fine job , And his explanations were so simple , That after the idiot atty;s I had before Icould notbelieve the simplicity ,
  Like if the Guardian ad Litem reports to the court that mom moved three times and won't let you see the child , And the child tells the Gal she wants to see you , Here the court will play it safe and make her give you the child ,
  If you did not know that process you would be frustrated here also .
  Because My atty explains ,
   " The judge doesn't know who to believe in these cases so they have to make a call " Thats why we appoint a Guardian ad Litem to go investigate and report back to the Judge , Then the judge has a better Idea of whats going on "
  But when these things happen as they did with you it happens here also , The Mom tells a wopper of a story , Like my psycho said I was abusive , So I could not see my son untill the Guardian ad Litem reported to the court that There was no evidence given to her that caused her to believe I was abusive And I should see My son , Then the court ordered that I see My son and that was that !
  Hopefully this clarified what may be in Canada also : And could be the missing link for you

[Erika]

My Dh went through something similar and he gor the opposite affect, that was in Ontario.

I'll post some advice after I find out where you are...

[wow]

Hi, I am from Windsor, Ontario.

I have an update as well , when I returned to court, the judge appointed the childrens lawyer for my daughter.

However, I am concerned because my daughter is claiming she does not want to see me. Typical PAS.

This is so wrong, and I know in my heart that this just simply is not true. However, I believe it may be more peaceful and less stressful for my daughter to go along with her mother. Her mother is very domineering and my child is afraid of her. I am so concerned though, as I mentioned she has lost alot of weight and appears frail. My daughter has so many times told me that "mommy hates you dad", and I have to defend you all the time to her. She and her mother have all the signs of parental alienation. I guess I can only hope and pray that someone will see through all of this because I know deep down inside that little girls heart , she loves her daddy deeply. And I am good to her,and very proud of her,  she is the apple of my eye , and always has been. I have probably spoiled her a little too much but for me , It is a great pleasure to give to her and to share with her sometimes just brightening her day.

Whenever, Rebecca ever needed or wanted anything including the basics (socks, shoes, school supplies , etc..she would always come to her dad, next thing you know me and Rebecca were out shopping.I have made sure she has never ever gone without. This desires extended beyond just her needs, and more into her wants as I have always had that soft spot for my daughters desires and have done all I can to give her what she wants too.

We shared so many wonderful moments at the movies, out to lunch or dinner, gardening together, vacations, flying kites, rollerblading, playing games etc.

I know in my heart my little girl truly loves me, and I her. As i mentioned in my earlier post after not seeing her for almost 6 months I got to see her for 10 minutes at Christmas, I never felt such a bigger hug in all my life. Her words of Merry Christmas Daddy will not leave my head. I just don't understand this.

This is such a sad siutation, I believe my daughter is caught in a now win situation as she has to go home to her domineering mother who hates me, and deal with all the stress of enjoying a relationship with her daddy. I pray that someone can see through this evil her mother is performing otherwise it could be a life long loss for my little angel.

saddened with the system in Canada

[gipsy]

The childs lawer is probably like a GAL In Wash state , And this person is probably suppose to investigate etc , You said ) " You saw your daughter and she wispered she loves you , I would ask the court appointed lawer to let you spend some time with your daughter and observe ,
  Be prepared , Mypsycho tried this crap and at first my son would cry when I got him  From Her so a trip to Mcdonalds for an Ice cream cone made him forget , And or a sucker . He was only 3 years when she would put him through this . She would have him al;l freaked out ., Telling him I would hurt him etc , So be prepared to deal with a child that is afraid of you and maybe ask a child psychologyst how to calm A child down etc , DON'T go With out a plan , Thiswill be likely to go very differently than you think , I don't think Are courts are so different , But I don't know thaT  , bUT REMMEMBER Spend more time trying to show yopu love the child and that you want to be a good parent , And that will go way further than trying to get even or etc