HELP! MONTH OF JULY HELP!

[awakenlynn]

sorry, computer said not found and I hit enter again.

[notnew]

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[I cry_ in_the_dark]

This whole post was like reading MY situation  a few years back, Sabor. I honestly could have believed someone crawled into my head and wrote it.

There are a few things you need to realize here, and at the same time, you have to be very careful of how you handle things. I don't recall reading whether or not your children WANT to go with dad. When we had divorced, my daughter did NOT want to go with dad.  I used my neighbors as well as my lawyer to witness that my daughter would throw horrific tantrums because she did not want to go. It usually ended up that my son went, my girl didn't.

By the same token, dad only showed up when dad felt like showing up. I believe it was a continued form of his controlling my life. Regardless, I was told that since he was the NCP he didn't have to excercise his visitation, and that I could not force him to. So, I was never able to make any plans for anything because I never knew if he was going to show up.

I was lucky to receive any support. He went from $35K a year while married to not working, and the courts did not make him pay according to what he had been making. One year I received NOTHING. Two years I received $45.00 a month. I was making basically minimum wage because I had been a stay at home mom while married.

Then there came the time that dad re-married. His new wife wears the pants in the family, makes lots of money, and she wanted my kids. He was given joint custody. The kids were to go every other week with him. The first week, he returned my daughter after 4 days. The second week, he returned her after 3 days. She never went back. She told her dad that she wanted to come for the weekend only, not the whole week. He told her that if she couldn't come for the whole week, she couldn't come at all!!! So for 5 years, she didn't go.

I so totally understand your feelings of wanting the kids with you, but at the same time needing time for yourself!!!

Things became really ugly and to keep a long story short he got physical custody. In spite of my witnesses, in spite of my childrens testimony in court, with my daughter saying I tried to make her go to dads, she refused to go and would get mad at me for trying to make her go....they twisted EVERYTHING to point that I was keeping my children from him!!!! (Even tho my son always went as scheduled.)

When his parents wanted the kids, they called ME, not him. When dad refused to allow gifts to come to my home, they bought duplicate gifts for the kids for my home. They knew I had always packed clothing bags when my son went to his home, and bought clothes for both kids. They knew he paid nothing. They'd buy groceries also. And when it went to court, they sat there, and said NOTHING....knowing full well I had always done my best to allow the children time with his whole family.

So my point is Sabor....be careful. Be VERY careful! Do your best to get dad to take those kids whether he wants to or not. It's only a month. You'll be a stronger person for it. And I surely would hate to see what happened to me, happen to you!