Medical Needs Child Not Recieving Adequate Care

[strawberry7151]

I am new to this board, but need advise.  My son spends the summer across the US with his father.  He is a medical needs child and doesn't quite get the care he needs.  This caused major problems (seizures) last summer and I had a signed court filed agreement put into place this summer that no medical changes or tests would be done without his doctor's consent.  It seems that the problem from last year is starting to repeat itself, regardless of the precautions that I have taken to protect my 5 year old child.  At what point can I deem this a medical emergency on my part and pick up my child early from his summer visitation without breeching the custody agreement in place. And when/if that time comes (which considering all the circumstances I feel is now) how do I go about getting him -- as I'm sure if I just show up his father will not just hand him over and I want this to be as un-upsetting as this can be for my son. I try to keep him out of the loop as far as his fathers faults are concerned -- He does not (at least when he's with me -- with is most of the time) hear the fights or hear any negative comments from anyone here about his father. However, he's come home from his fathers saying some pretty cruel and hurtful things about myself, his step father, and his family here -- not intentionally but because it was contiunally told to him while on his visits.  Any advise would be much appreciated.  Thanks!!!

[ocean]

Depending on what proof you have, you can get him on medical neglect. How so you know what is happening there? Is he taking him to a dr there that you could call or have your dr call that dr? How much longer is this visit? If it is an emergency, you would probably need to call the local DSS unit for a check on your son. If it could wait (I would- so DSS does not get involved unless necessary) I would get proof of the neglect again this summer and go back to court to get superivised visits in your state due to the neglect.
What does your papers state about visitation? Does it give specific dates?
Good luck!

[strawberry7151]

Well let me clarify, my son is type 1 diabetic.  I know what's happening due to what happened last summer, and he often slips up and tells some details (like my girlfriend -- at the time gave him such and such insulin) which was too much and not on schedule -- resulting in seizures.  Also, the proof is in his meter when it comes home. Last visit it wasn't coded properly.  Before the readings were all over the scale -- and a sudden drop can only be from insulin.  Anyway, I do have proof -- whether it's enough or not I don't know until we get to court. However, I am awaiting a court date to be set and this issue is one of a few things that are being addressed.  However, I don't want police and DSS and child services to get involved, really, but I also can't help feeling like I'm not helping my child when I know his health is at stake.   I'm his mother I should be able to protect him from this all.  No his visitation doesn't give specific dates but it does have times. However, a new agreement was signed by his attorney stating that he would comply with physician's orders and if not his visitation would be cancelled. So if his doctor here (who's reviewing the meter readings now) puts it in writing that he needs to come home, then I'm hoping that that would be sufficient enough for the courts?? Thanks for your reply. I'll try to hold out a bit longer! PS for my son's sake I hate to stop visitation or require supervised visits here -- he loves going up there and esp he has grandparents / cousins there -- I hate to take that away from him, he's too young to understand it's for his own good -- but I do feel like his father is more and more leaving me no other choices.  

[ocean]

Can you ask that he bring him to a dr there weekly for a "check-up" and to teach dad more about what to input in the pump? I know one of the kids at my school has a pump and she had a "cheat" sheet that told her if she wanted  this amount of sugar to input this number. That is great that you do not really want to suspend visits. Soon, you son will be old enough to do a lot of the inputing on his own and to test himself (and can show dad). Is it more of a problem at meals? Can you get son to call you and ask? Will your insurance pay for nurse to come in and check in on him (not sure since it is out of state though? Dad is not stepping up to the plate here, maybe it is because he is not use to dealing with it on a daily basis and is "afraid"? It sounds like you have it under control by having his dr look at the current readings. If it is out of wack, I would request an emergency hearing and with the dr's findings you should have a strong case. Good luck!

[strawberry7151]

Well he's not on a pump, he gets shots. the readings I have are from his glucose meter.  It's not that his father is not well educated or scared, he's just in denial -- he's been trying to "disprove" the diagnosis ever since this started. And if his doctors here say one thing then he doesn't believe them and wants second opinions. However, yes he has pediatrician and endocrinologist up there -- however, his father last summer switched doctors and didn't bring records or contact his doctors here just to get his way -- he wanted a change in insulin and that was the only way he could get it. So that's what scary -- you can't do that kind of stuff. But I never thought of filing for an emergency hearing for this--as soon as I hear back from the doctor on his take of things I will know more what I should do. I will let you all know! Thanks for the reply!