Hi! I'm new here but...

[tennessee76]

Just wanted to say hello to everyone and hope you all can help me. I have a 7 year old daughter whom I have not seen since she was a year old and have not had ANY contact with her since she was a year and a half old. I pay my child support every week and the last time I tried sending her something it came back 'cause her mother had moved them. I never married her mother because she was married but separated at the time but I would LOVE to see or even talk to my daughter but they live in South Dakota can anyone help me? Please I am going out of my mind because I don't know where my daughter is or who is with her and what's really bugging me is I don't want her to think I have abandoned her.

[Amy_in_MA]

Did you all go to court to establish the child support order that you have been paying on for all these years? If so, did your court order address visitation/contact with the child?

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[tennessee76]

Well I never went to court because it was in South Dakota but I signed paternity papers so therefore I pay my support through Tennessee who then sends it to South Dakota. The only thing the court papers say is that I have to give 24 hours notice before I show up but that's IMPOSSIBLE since I do not know where they live now! Not to mention that it's a 1300+ mile trip just to get there that I don't want to waste if I can not see her. Any suggestions?

[Amy_in_MA]

Well, if the support is being sent to South Dakota, and it's being forwarded to the CP, then they know where she is. I'd suggest finding out from CSE which court house you might contact (in South Dakota) to seek court ordered visitation that is more specific than giving 24 hours notice...or at the very least, how you may obtain their contact information unless there is a no contact order.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[tennessee76]

no I have never been served with no contact papers she just quit answering my calls and my mail so by now my daughter probably doesn't even know who I am. Can they hold her in contempt of court for doing this? Do you think I might be able to get some type of custody because I am now married and have a 2 and a half year old daughter who I'd like for her to meet her sister. Any suggestions? I don't have alot if any money to fight her!

[Amy_in_MA]

My only suggestion at this point is as I said in my previous post, talk to CSE in the state it is being paid (South Dakota) and see if they can direct you to the courthouse you'd need to seek a modification from.  If there is no court order specifying visitation or her obligation to let you know her whereabouts, then she isn't in contempt of anything. Change of custody based on this? I'd be pretty surprised...right now, you need to focus on re-establishing contact with your child and developing that relationship. Custody battles are expensive at best when they occur between two involved parents. Work on getting a court order that clearly details your parenting time with your child, the need for your child's mother to let you know the child's location/contact information, etc. Start there.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[Davy]

First of all, do NOT ASSUME or ALLOW OTHERS ASSUME your child is OK  because it is thought the child is with the mother !!

Perhaps the child is no longer with the mother.  Perhaps the government can not locate the mother.   Perhaps the child's support money is shuffled into a government account.  

Hiding a child or preventing contact with the other parent is a serious custody issue.  You should expect assistance from law enforcement and all government agencys in locating the child... just keep any and all communications focused on the well-being of the child.

Do not be surprised if your child is delighted with your appearance and involvement.  The sooner the better.   Best to you and all of your efforts.

[tennessee76]

What if the last known address no longer works then what do I do?I will do that and thank you all for your VALUABLE information and opinions! I will let you know how this goes next week. Thanks Again!

[Davy]

Tennessee..

I think your best effort is to try to follow the money.

Just in case you don't know..... on the deltabravo.net home page there is an "Article Index'.   Clicking the index will allow one to drill down to a wealth of information accumulated over the years by many folks.  These contributions have been organized and authenicated by SPARC.  Much thanks to at least TGB (I think).

At a glance and as an example, you may want to review "When a spouse (parent) steals a child" under Emergency First Aid.   You will find much information to HELP guide you.