not adhering to visitation schedule

[mattie]

I get my son EOW--my ex wife has always been laxed-she will plan trips on my weekend or plan other activities. I have never taken her to court on this b/c I thought that eventually she would change (wrong). Drop off for my weekend is at 6 on friday night-- last 4 visits she has dropped off on saturday at 5:00,on Friday night at 12 midnight,Friday night at 11:30 and last weekend not at all she called saturdtay and said she was tired and was not coming-now I am keeping documentation (which I should have done all along). If I take her to court wih this what will happen--I mean she hasn't denied visitation she manages to drop him off just  a day late (besides the last visit which was not at all).  

[mistoffolees]

She will probably get a very severe reprimand from the judge with a warning that if she does it again there will be penalties for contempt of court (probably a fine, but it could be jail time, particularly if she continues to ignore the judge's order).

If you ask for it, you may be able to get compensatory time to make up for what she's stolen from you. You will also have a pretty good case for asking the judge to force her to pay your legal expenses.

In the worst case scenario, denial of visiation can be grounds for a change in custody, although IMHO that's not the case here unless there's more to the story.

Do not treat this as just a minor issue. She is stealing the very limited thim that you have with your son. She most certainly IS denying you visitation. If someone takes half the money out of your wallet, would you say that they didn't steal from you just because they didn't take ALL of it?

Having said that, I would think that once you have the documentation, you might decidie to be nice and tell her that you have a court filing ready to go, but you want to give her one more chance. If she is late for one more visitation, you're filing it, but you'll give her a chance to do the right thing without incurring the wrath of the judge and legal expenses.  Then if she doesn't straighten up her act immediately, file.

One thing to consider - what is your evidence? If it's just your word against hers, it will be harder to prove. If you have a friend or neighbor there when she's supposed to drop your son off, that's better. Also, if you can record her saying that she's not bringing your son over (check the law in your state) or have an email or letter from her, that's good, too.

[mattie]

Thank you for that advice-

As far as proof I have text messages and I also have my sister who she called and said she was too tired and was not coming and I have made one police report as well--so I have a couple of sources

[mistoffolees]

>Thank you for that advice-
>
>As far as proof I have text messages and I also have my sister
>who she called and said she was too tired and was not coming
>and I have made one police report as well--so I have a couple
>of sources
 

Then you should take action immediately. Either file now or send a certified, return receipt requested letter stating that if it happens one more time you're filing for contempt.

I would suggest that you talk with an attorney first just in case things are a little different in your area.

[MixedBag]

who is supposed to do the pick up and drop off?

Yes, don't treat this lightly.  Maybe flip flop you pick up and she does the return trip.

[mattie]

Well we both meet at my mother's home-- she drops my son off and I pick up from there and vice versa -we both drive the same distance to meet at this location-so nobody drives further than the other so its not a matter of the drive is too far or inconvient. We prefer to meet at a neutral location as opposed to each others homes