Got a stumper here....

[Sunshine1]

Ok, Court order defines summer as June, July and August.  BM thinks she gets 6 weeks in the summer with 2 week intervals, each month.

New parenting plan that has been in effect for quite some time has wording that trumps the 6 weeks in the summer, and it is not addressed, however we have always done it.  Last year she did not get them all uninterrupted however due to holidays and stuff and her lawyer told her, the PP didn't say she got any visits in the summer so shut up and take it.

This year we are going to have a problem.

Oldest SS was selected out of the entire grade to attend a camp to learn school patrol, they only take 10 students.  He is really excitd to go but here comes the tricky part.  Our schools let out the last day of the first week in June (they are with us) Summer starts afterschool on that day.

Camp is the last week of June.  BM has submitted the dates she would like and they fall on the first half of camp.  We don't need to go with her schedule entirely, we just try to accomodate it becasue she has other children with other fathers they need to see too.

What on earth do we do?  Here is what we were thinking and let me know what you think?

We thought we would propose each parent gets one week, yes, technically they are with us for the school week but that is not classified as summer vacation.  So it would go: 1st week is school, 2nd week is with BM, 3rd week is with us and 4th week we have to take him to camp.

Believe me there is a legit reason they live with DH, so having her take him to camp is out of the question...otherwise we would offer that.

Does that sound right or because this is elective, but a school activity (which is also addressed in the PP, that he must attend all activities of the school he wishes to participate in) do we have to send him on our week and we give her the 2nd and 3rd week, and we get school week and the last week for camp which we do not get to spend with him either...

What do you do?  Has anyone had to handle this scenario?  She is not going to agree, I can see it already she likes to get the children and then when she is supposed to return them she doesn't and the police ALWAYS side with her.  If it is not spelled out before they go we are going to have some trouble and she has no problem disappointing him.

He would give his arm and leg to go, and it is truly an experience he is going to never forget.

Ps, he wants to go and not go to his BM's and he has no problem telling her that.

Need suggestions please!!  I am getting down to the wire with the registration of this camp.

[mistoffolees]

>Ok, Court order defines summer as June, July and August.  BM
>thinks she gets 6 weeks in the summer with 2 week intervals,
>each month.
>
>New parenting plan that has been in effect for quite some time
>has wording that trumps the 6 weeks in the summer, and it is
>not addressed, however we have always done it.

This isn't clear to me (it would be helpful if you said which was more recent and whether the new parenting plan was approved by the court), but it may be moot. Either under the new parenting plan or the court order, she's expecting 6 weeks. I would say that you should find a way to get her 6 weeks.

If the camp interferes with the last week in June, I'd explain it to her and offer her an extra week in July or August to make up for it.

My parenting plan says specifically that one parent can not schedule anything that interferes with the other parent's time and that's a good practice even if it's not in your plan. Technically, you're interfering with her time and therefore need to negotiate it. To me, the easiest thing is to acknowledge that the intent was for her to get 6 weeks and you simply want to rearrange it.

If she won't go for that, then you're going to have to send him on your week so that she can get her 2 weeks in June.

[MixedBag]

It sounds like you all live close together so that long distances are not a problem.

If you've been "giving Mom 6 weeks each summer" inspite of what the current parenting plan says, then I think you better stick to that as well.  

Also seems like your current parenting plan gives your son support in that his attendance becomes a priority this summer for the first time.

As soon as you knew/know about the camp and his selection, I would have let Mom know.

Then I would plan the summer (as the CP) so that camp falls on the time the child normally spends with the CP.

As an NCP, I am facing something very similar.

Son is in band.  High school band "eats up" tons of time the second half of the summer.  And son is supposed to come here (long distance/ airline tickets involved) 6 weeks.  Well, this summer, band interferes.  There is a sentence that says basically that the school schedule can't be interefered with.  And my EX will take the side that summer band participation is school related.  Yet we all know that you don't HAVE to be in band to graduate high school.

But I know my son loves band.....And I will plan accordingly.

And you have a PM.

[Sunshine1]

Ok, both are very good points. We came to the conclusion that we really wanted him to go THAT BAD so we would forfeit our week with him.  Since she has no problems letting him down or telling him "no its HER summer"  and not truly the kids' summer, we will let him go on our week.

The PP overules the original order that states the 6 week summers.  we have just been honoring it anyway.  Last year was the only year we did not do "2 weeks uninterrupted".  The children are also protected in that if they are in an activity, the parent they are with has to bring them. We are not the type of people to sign them up for every cotton pickin thing that the BM can not have time with them. (to me this takes an enormous amount of work to do this, but I know people do it).

Another clause says that school activities are mandatory and if they are in something they must participate.  Well the school patrol supervisers selected him to go (and when I was a kid, I was selected to go so I am very excited for him that he was selected to go) so we are just going to go with we will give up our week.

Good Plan?  I would love if there was a plane involved...LOL!!  She lives 45 minutes from us.  :)