Father of one

[waspnut]

Hi

Issue: Mom and I get along most of the time. She has allowed me to see my daughter for the past   1-1/2 years on her Sunday for a few hours. My child support was reduced and boom she changed her mind and she yanked her Sundays telling me she was doing me the big favor of letting me see her on Sundays - she can do anything she wants  My daughter has severe emotional behaviors she is now in a Special Education class in her school. I'm worried about the inconsistencies my ex-has shown with our daughter. The ex-lives 3 blocks from the school my daughter is in third Grade this year. The first year my daughter was late 22 times Second Grade - 14 times. In second Grade she was dragged across her classroom carpet leaving a long bruise and scrape mark on her back- her mother saw the mark on her back but never pursued the issue upon my extra Sunday I noticed this and my daughter explained the issue. I went to the school and filed a report with the school and after a few hearings teacher was fired. Different issue different month last year. Again another visit  with my daughter on my extra Sunday she has all these light bruises up and down her arm what the heck? My daughter tells me she  is being bullied in school/ and and other  children are hurting her- again mother is unaware and I have trek back to the school. and report this to the principal. The parents are notified and children  were disciplined. Third incident again last year- Daughter is having a major blow up it took 2 male teachers to remove her from the classroom ex was contacted she could not be reached. I was contacted at work and calmed her down and brought her to her mothers house. Ex-sleeps late and answered the door totally un-aware of the school was trying to contact her. All this information has been documented by the school.  The principal of the school has asked me to think about pursuing custody. I know my ex-wife loves our daughter she does feed, house and clothe her, but is really out of the loop and very inconsistent when it comes dealing with her emotional issues. I have a Character references from the Principal, Teachers. and even my employer about the involvement I have in my daughters life. Even with all the feed-back I'm getting from everyone about pursuing Custody I know this will effect my daughter deeply. I have standard visitation 1 overnight during the week and every other  weekend. There  is big gap of one week in not seeing her on my off weekend. I'm looking at trying to pursue having a additional night added in this one week time gap. I  have a change of   circumstances being I do not work the same hours any longer. I use to work long hours the previous decree states pickup on Saturday. Even if my Ex and I get along I just want to modify the visitation schedule so its written and stipulated clearly instead of relying on the Good will of her mother who can just change her mind at anytime about allowing me to see my daughter/ Any feedback on this?  

[mistoffolees]

It IS their given right-if that's in the court order. If your order says that you have certain visitation, then your ex is not 'allowing' you do do it. If you have joint legal custody, then you have the legal right to participate in decisions. The ex is not 'allowing' you.

In some states (mine included), there is a presumption of joint legal and shared physical custody. One side has to prove that this is not in the best interest of the child in order to change it. That seems to be a growing trend.

But even if your state does not allow it, you have the right to go to court and demonstrate why the daughter would be better off with you. Again, that is your right, not something the ex allows.