Change in visitaion...New Jersey

[ihnlw]

My husband and I moved out of state 2 years ago with our three children for a better job opportunity. My husband has an 11 year old son that resides in NJ. We/he were granted five weeks parenting time in the summer, alternate Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving each year. We also pretty much have visitation whenever we go back to NJ but of course that is easier said than done. Prior to our move my husband had 4 weeks in the summer but the ex was "entitled" to two dinner visits each week. That was because at the time of divorce my SS was 4 and she cried she could not go a complete week w/o seeing him.  Now the ex wants to decrease the summer because "its just not working out". She wants to make it three weeks with us having opportunity to visit in NJ. She is also planning on signing him up for a sport that practices in the summer also that he has to back for the sport. She feels the sport and him spending time with his friends is important. I can agree to a point but isn't the relationship with his father and siblings more important? Does she have a leg to stand on here? I appreciate any input!  

[MixedBag]

Do you alternate the ENTIRE Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving holidays each year?

Sports -- very precarious subject.

Some courts will go one way, other courts another way.

NO "this is the way it is" answer.

I too fought this subject with EX#3's EX and my EX#2.  That's why I say there is no "ONE" answer.

Both EX's felt the same way you are describing.

I would recommend that dad agree to an alternate arrangement as long as there is no reduction in time for the child to be with dad.  And in this case, in dad's home, not necessarily in child's town.  

Can you counter by asking for EVERY Thanksgiving or Easter break?  Or on alternating years, the rest of Christmas break (like one year include Christmas and the next year not?)

[ihnlw]

Thanks-

Yes we alternate each break each year. I agree with you with the sports. There is only a problem with his parenting time interfering with football every other year so I think we could defiantly work around it. The problem is she first used football as the excuse but now she is saying that the five weeks is just excessive. Her new claim is he can not maintain friendships. What about maintaining a relationship with his father and siblings. She is requesting it to be put in place this summer, even though his tickets are booked. She is not open to giving additional parenting time in Nevada only for my husband to have time in NJ. Even that has stipulations. She totally neglects the fact that he has family here as well, brothers and a sister. I don't know how hard it is going to be to prove there has been a change of circumstances to decrease the parenting time. He only visits 7 weeks a year 5 of them are summer.

[MixedBag]

stick to your guns!!!

you got the right idea.......which is "what's best for the child?  A relationship with BOTH parents comes before friends."