Questions about pick ups

[Crockpot]

My SD's are with us overnight on Wednesdays.  We tired to get BM to agree to Thursday nights since DH has school two Wednesdays in a row every five weeks and it would be less back and forth for the girls (but her BF was free Wednesdays so she wanted to keep it as is).  Understandably SD's get upset when they don't see their dad.  BM finally agreed to do Thursdays (she broke up with her BF)  and told DH to 'write it up and she'll sign it."  So he did.  The night before she was going to sign she called saying she also wants to add that he's to pick up the girls at their day care vs. the current meeting point.  

Since the order was signed almost a year ago, we've picked up the girls at the day care of the week about 95% of the time.  It was not much further than the meeting point so DH didn't mind.  But, he doesn't want it in the CO since the day care changes frequently and he doesn't want to be CO to drive any farther.  It took us a year to get her to agree to do part of the driving.  DH had been driving about 45 miles each way for mid-week and weekend visits since they split 5 years ago.  

So, DH told BM no way and she said she won't sign for the change to Thursdays.  OK fine, DH told her we're sticking to the current CO by the letter (meaning she needs to bring the kids to CO exchange point).  

We're pretty sure she won't.  What should DH do to document this?  It's a store parking lot so he can go in to the store and buy something to prove he was there.  But is that all he needs to file for contempt?  He's considering filing after a few times (or should he do it after the first one?).  And will his willingness to go to the day care in the past now make him look vengeful?  

We really try to work with this woman but she's impossible.  

[Kitty C.]

Instead of telling her no, why didn't you tell her you would agree to the day change, but be adding that the daycare will remain the same as long as this agreement you are now making is in effect?  That if daycare must change, it must be mutually agreed upon, because of the driving distance involved for the father.  Gives her less to bitch about......

Then if she still refuses to meet you at the designated area, only then can you file contempt.  But you may have to have repeated refusals/no-shows before anything is done by the court.  If she still won't cooperate, the heck with the contempt charges, file a petition for custody change/eval based upon her 'unwillingness' to co-parent and negotiate.  Even if it doesn't materialize, maybe it will rattle her cage enough to get her to cooperate.  Sometimes you just need to get their 'attention'......

[Crockpot]

DH didn't agree to pick them up at day care because every time they mutually agree on something she piggy backs another change to benefit her.  And, the day care WILL change and they'll be back where they started.  She signed the current order a day before court.  She was rattled for sure.  

DH contacted the local police to see what he should do if she doesn't show with the kids.  They said to make sure he has a copy of their CO and to call 911 and they'd dispatch an officer.  And when the officer comes to let him/her know he'd be using the report in court.  I'm assuming they make it more comprehensive?  In any case they were very empathic.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I have a feeling this will get her attention!