New User - Child support & Visitation Issue

[laroupe]

Hello,

My name is Eddie and I'm a new user of this service. I don't know exactly where to start, but let me put my history into perspective first;

- I met this girl 3 1/2yr ago and after 6 weeks of acqaintance, she told me she was pregnant. This was contrary to our witnessed agreement where abortion was to be the only option if such a mishap occur. Infact I confronted her with the situation the 3rd day we had sex since it was getting pretty frequent, and if she didn't agree, I was going to walk away.

- She changed her mind and said she doesn't need me despite prior agreement (Hence, we stop having sex). Baby was born 9 month later and I was there in the hospital just for history sake. I didn't sign paternity doc until DNA was performed and I was claimed to be the dad. I began giving her some money and it increased up to $300 which she later claimed wasn't enough and requested formal child support. We agreed by stipulation that I'll 450 per month plus provide health Insurance - i've been complying. By the way i'm self-employed and I earn about $4500/month.

- She had moved to her mom's house in San Diego california whilst I live in Los Angeles and I've been travelling 2hrs to go visit my child (She's never brought the child to my place). I can't even take the child out because "He doesn't know me enough and would cry forever if mom wasn't there". Meanwhile, I'm a workaholic and I'm in school so I haven't really been able to be active in my son's life other than sending the monthly check.

Now here's my question; 1st, do you think I'm paying too much - with literally <5% child contact? I currently pay 450 + 160 for health insurance. 2nd, if I cease paying health insurance, how can they enforce that when I'm an independent contractor with no employer? 3rd, How can I go about getting a fair visitation right, since she's practically dictating it all and I'm sick of driving 2 hrs over everytime and she doesn't do same?

Please advise!

[ocean]

Hi,
Child support and visitation are two separate things in the courts eyes.

Child support-IF it is court ordered then you have to pay. If you do not pay the medical, the mother could get it and then you would have to pay your share (50% or more depending on her income). THe child support amount is a formula. Look for your state child support calculator on line. In my state it is 17% of your income for one child (plus medical, daycare)

Visits- Do you have anything on paper from court? If not, go to court and get a parenting plan that you can deal with. Usually the min. is every other weekend and one day during the week once the child is a few months old. For now it can be for all day away from her home? What ever you agree with, will be your order for the next 18 years, so look on line and get a good plan because it is very hard to change. (Remember when child gets to school age, vacations, holidays)....

You can come up with a drop off point in the middle of both of you ...or most people drive to get there child and then have other parent pick up (this way you are not waiting for her).

Good luck!

[laroupe]

Thank you for the valuable info. I'm going to request one weekend per month until my schedule improve in following years.

As for child support, It's calculated based on net income, right? I'm wondering how time sharing factors in, especially considering my plan to have him a weekend per month?

[ocean]

Child support really does not go by how much time you have the child...sometimes people get a decrease for the summer but most times you pay.

Visitation-PLEASE put in there more time with the child. You can not just go back and say.."well...I want more time". It is VERY hard to change so you can say when child a certain age it will go to standard visitation (every other weekend and a day during the week). Put in times, vacations, holidays, birthdays...the more you have in there the less headache you will have in the future.

[MixedBag]

There are on-line CS Calculators and if I remember correctly, every single day in CA counts and affects CS.

I agree that usually CS continues for all 12 months -- but there are some parents who have it different in their decree.


I believe "alllaw.com" should have a CS calculator, and this is the one I know I used years ago to study this (http://www.supportguidelines.com/calcs.html) but the California link is messed up and sends you to the wrong place.